“Yeah?”
“Yes, Jay. All I want to do is be with you right now.”
He looked unsure, but just for a moment. Then, without another word, he hoisted me up until my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms circled his neck, and he took me back inside, where I hoped I could heal this man in more ways than one.
Jay helped me make a hearty salad for my mother with vegetables from the mountain garden. Then we tucked her away in her room with a good book that she seemed content to curl up with. Once she was settled, Jay led me down the hall on the upper floor that led to what appeared to be the main bedroom.
This room was just as massive and wide open as the rest of the house, with a heavy wooden four-poster bed in the center covered in a thick, moss green duvet.
There was a reading nook by the large bay window on one side of the room that overlooked the mountains and a massive ensuite on the other side.
“The closet over there has a bunch of clothes I bought for you. Hopefully, everything fits. If you want to go get cleaned up in the bathroom, I can wait out here,” Jay said, watching me take in my new surroundings with those sad, sad eyes.
“Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll wash up together.”
Jay tensed at the suggestion, and he bit his lip, looking away from me.
“What? You don’t want to?”
“I just, uhm. I probably don’t look the same as you remember.”
Oh.
“Because they hurt you?”
He glanced back at me before running a frustrated hand down his face and nodding.
“Yeah.”
“Baby, I don’t care about that. I just want to feel close to you again. A few scars won’t scare me away.” I held my hand out to him, tilting my head toward the bathroom.
“Come on,” I urged.
He swallowed so loudly I heard it, then nodded.
“Alright.”
I noticed he shivered slightly as he slid his hand in mine, and when our fingers touched, that haunted look in his eyes seemed to fade slightly.
My touch comforted him.
That was good to know.
Once I had him in the bathroom, I went to work turning on the shower, making sure the water was set to a hot, but comfortable temperature.
The shower was frameless and had been clearly built with someone of Jay’s height in mind. We would both fit inside comfortably.
Smiling softly to myself at the thought of being naked and close with Jay again, I began to strip out of my clothes.
“Do you need help getting undressed?” I asked, turning to find him still looming hesitantly in the doorway, all dark tactical gear, straps, and a potent mix of anticipation and desire.
He’d lost the mask somewhere during our tour, and his chestnut hair was sticking up in a mess of fluffy tufts just the way it used to. Affection rolled through me at the sight of it.
Underneath all the trauma and the new scars, I knew my Jay was still in there somewhere, and I was going to bring him back out.
‘I never thought you would abandon me like that.’
His words rang through my mind, and I felt my resolve solidify. I would be putting a stop to that line of thinking as soon as I could. Hopefully, he would believe me, but from the way he was staring at me now, Iknew deep down he didn’t want to believe that I would do that to him. Not for the reasons he was thinking.
