The part of me that still thought of him as mine let out a sigh of relief. I’d expected him to disappear again. Maybe fuck his way through every witch in Salem to punish me. But he hadn’t. He’d come here—to find me—it would seem.
But I was too tired to play his twisted games.
My anger wasn’t gone, but it was cold now, instead of the white-hot thing that had turned me into a rabid animal hours before.
My resolve solidified into an icy shell of armor around my heart, and I no longer looked at Shemhazai as someone I wanted to chase and protect but as someone I needed protection from.
Because if I continued down this path with him, he would destroy me.
I knew that now.
“Leave me alone, Shemhazai. I’m going to bed.”
“Youleft,” hehissed, prowling toward me and grabbing my arm, much the same way I’d done to him on the dance floor earlier.
Mimicking him, I stared at his hand for a long beat, hoping he would get the hint and let me go.
When he didn’t, I sighed and met his eyes. They were shimmering in the warm light from the kitchen, and I couldn’t work out the expression on his face.
“I did.”
“We weren’t finished.”
“I was. Iam.”
“What thefuckdoes that mean!?”
I frowned, surprised at the edge of desperation in his voice. His hand quivered on my arm, and for once, I didn’t think it was from anger.
“It means things are going to need to change if you want this to continue, Shemhazai.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, and I watched as he struggled to beat back his true nature.
I knew him. He wanted to dominate me and tell me I didn’t have a choice. He wanted to tell me that Ihadto bend to him and obey.
Yeah.
Well.
That wasn’t going to happen.
I wasn’t naturally submissive. I submitted to Shemhazai because he needed me to and because I… I almost chuckled sadly as I realized that Sköll and Fenrir had been right.
I loved him.
I must, right? Why would someone put up with the shit I did if they didn’t love the person that was so hellbent on hurting them?
When he couldn’t seem to be able to conjure a response, I gently untangled my arm from his grip and moved to turn back to the stairs.
“Goodnight, Shemhazai.”
“Wait!”
He grabbed me again, and I paused, my eyebrows raising at how vulnerable he looked.
“What?”
“... Change… How?” he bit out, clearly forcing himself to try and meet me halfway.
