It was something, at least. It was more than he had ever given me before, so I rewarded the effort with an answer.
“I need more from you.”
He scowled, and his lip curled in a snarl. I nearly sighed in frustration.
Rolling my eyes, I pulled away from him again, but he jerked me back, desperately trying to keep me with him.
“Why do you have to be like this?” he snapped. “Why can’t you just leave well enough alone? You pick, and you pick, and it’s fuckingexhausting,Gabriel.”
A complex flurry of emotions flickered across his expression. I tried to track and identify them as they flowed through the perfect lines of his face, but some of them came and went too quickly to catalog.
Anger.
Fear.
Desperation.
Sorrow.
Pain.
Loneliness.
Need.
Not one of the feelings I identified was good or positive. He was a mess inside, and if he was feeling even an ounce of what he was showing me right now, my heart ached for him.
But it wasn’t enough.
I reached out and cupped his face, gently running my thumb over his jaw, and he shuddered. His eyes closed briefly, and he visibly struggled to get himself under control as I gently stroked him.
“Because, Shemhazai. You treat me like shit.” I didn’t say it with anger. The words came out softly. They were just a statement of fact. An undeniable truth, and when he opened his eyes to look at me, I knew he agreed. “I know that a lot of what you do stems from some horrible trauma you’ve suffered. I’m not blind. But… I can’t continue to allow you to break me like this without something in return. You have to give me something,anything,to help me understand why you treat me the way that you do.”
“I – I –” he stuttered.
I watched him battle with himself in silence and willed him to come out of his internal battle on the side that would save us. He was strong. I knew he could fight his demons and win. If I could, I would fight them for him, but that wasn’t possible. This was something he needed to do on his own.
“Come on, Shemhazai. Give me something. Anything,” I encouraged him softly. His heart was beating so hard I could see his pulse leaping in his throat.
He opened his mouth, and for one hopeful moment, I thought he might do it.
But then, his mouth shut with a snap, and his eyes hardened.
“Ican’t,”he hissed, and all the hope bled out of my body. I felt myself visibly deflate, and I spun my scepter absently in my hand at my side.
“Can’t or won’t?”
He pursed his lips, and that was all the answer I needed.
“Goodnight, Shemhazai,” I said again, and hesnapped.
“No. You don’tgetto dismiss me! You promised yourself to me; you aremine.I own you,” he snarled.
Suddenly, his fists were in my shirt, and he spun me away from the stairs and slammed me against the wall so hard several frames tumbled to the ground and shattered.
He crushed his mouth into mine and desperately tried to kiss me, but I didn’t open for him. His lips moved against mine, but I just stood there, silently rejecting him.
“Kiss me back,” he snarled, attempting to shove his tongue into my mouth, but I growled and shoved him away with a firm hand on his chest.
