Ryan stalked toward me, and my eyebrows shot up into my hairline. He cupped my face with a surprising amount of tenderness, considering how worked up he was.
“That’s not who you are, Cal.”
I frowned.
Uhm… come again?
“That’s quiteliterallywho I am, Ryan. I’ve been doing this my whole life.”
This was a really weird conversation.
Why would he think I was anything other than a ruthless killer? We literallymetbecause I was trying to fucking kill him. My mouth quirked in amusement despite the very serious look he was giving me.
His warm fingers danced across my jawline, and I bit back a shiver.
God, he just had a way of turning me into a useless puddle of nonsense.
“It’snotwho you are, Cal. You’re not a killer. Not really.”
“I’m not?” I asked, my voice strangely quiet. He stepped even closer to me, skating his lips over mine so softly he was barely there.
“No. The real you is the man I found comforting that girl in the garden today,” he murmured. For some reason, my head was spinning, and I felt like my world was imploding.
“You’re kind, Cal. You’re selfless, and you always put everyone’s needs before your own. You’ve spent your entire life giving up everything to keep your sisters safe. You buy gnomes for Naomi because you want her to know you’re thinking of her. You put Cass through law school. You stood up for me when that woman was losing her shit on me for no reason… then you apologized tomeafter I yelled atyouby buying me a bouquet of my favorite flowers!”
I chuckled, feeling all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside. “Yeah, but I also tried to kill you. That has to cancel out all that other stuff.”
Ryan glared at me, tightening his hold on my jaw hard enough that I swallowed.
“Yeah, you did. Because you thought I was a monster that was ruthlessly beating up a little boy. You were trying to protect him, Cal. Because that’s what you fucking do. You try so hard to protect and help everyone around you, but who’s protecting you?”
I felt my mouth part, but for the first time in like…ever,I didn’t know what to say. There were literally no words in my mouth, and my normally insanely busy brain just felt empty.
Ryan brushed his thumb over my chin and kissed me fiercely, nipping my bottom lip hard enough that I groaned. Before I could deepen the kiss, he pulled away, locking his furious, brandy eyes on me.
“It’sfucked upthat this Damian guy took such a kind, gentle soul and turned him into a fucking killing machine. You were made to help people, Cal. Not hurt them. And I will never forgive the man who fucking took that away from you.”
Iwas feeling all kinds of fucked up when Ryan and I made our way downstairs for dinner. The things he said to me were running through my head on repeat, and I could barely focus on what was happening around me.
Which sucked.
Because what was happening around me was fuckingawesome.
Naomi and Iris were setting the table, and Naomi was proudly yammering away about what ingredients went into Iris’ world-class mashed potatoes. I had never seen her so fucking excited, and I realized with a start that it was because Naomi was looking at Iris like a mother figure.
Ryan sat down, and we all gathered around, just like those families you saw on TV. Even Theo came out of her guest house to join us for dinner.
Iris literally lit damn candles for ambiance and broke out a bottle of red wine, which I had to decline because I was meeting up with Vox after this to hunt people I didn’t actually have any interest in hunting.
Naomi proudly scooped her potatoes on all our plates and watched us carefully as we took our first bites. My chest felt tight as Ryan made sure to give her one of his best fucking smiles and tell her how they might be even better than when his mom made them.
The look on Naomi’s face when he said that made my eyes burn.
Cass and I had tried so hard to give her the best life possible, but it was clear as day that she had still been missing something like this. Some kind of traditional family dynamic with a real parent and dinners full of homemade food and family recipes.
Even Theo made a big show about finishing her plate and smirking at my little sister.
“Not bad, kid,” she grunted before taking a sip of wine.
