“No,” I said slowly, wondering if this man was touched in the head. I was brand new to this world, and even I knew jokes were meant to be funny. “I was sent to find a demon named Shemhazai. Can you take me to him?” I asked, and the man looked as if I had slapped him across the face.
“You don’t remember me,” he breathed, and I shook my head, frowning.
“Should I?”
The man stared at me for a moment, looking as if his entire world were falling apart. We stood in awkward silence for several beats when he seemed to make a snap decision.
He smiled at me, flashing perfect white teeth. He threw his arm around my shoulders, leading me toward the looming island.
“Guess not. Anyway, I’m Shemhazai, and we’re going to be best fucking friends, Ramel.”
I glanced at the strange man named Shemhazai and realized I could probably use a friend, so I smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Shemhazai,” I said, and he chuckled.
“You can call me Shem or Hazai. Shemhazai is soformal,”he purred, and I felt myself laugh for the very first time. It felt good.
“Okay. Nice to meet you, Hazai.” I said, and he winked at me.
“Now, priorities. There’s a bunch of things I want to teach you, but we should probably make sure you know how to fuck properly first.”
I frowned at him, confused. “Why do I need to know how to…fuckproperly?” I asked, trying the word out. I found I liked the word fuck.
Hazai gave me a mischievous grin, his green eyes glinting in the starlight. “In case… well, one day you’re going to want to show someone, who I can’t talk about right now, that you know how to fuck properly. Trust me. Anyway, let’s get some mortals in here for some practice.”
I frowned, confused about what any of this had to do with my assigned role of managing death. Yahweh had told me to find Shemhazai though, and this was Shemhazai, so I rationed that it was likely best for me to follow his lead.
“Okay, Hazai. Teach me how to fuck properly,” I agreed, and he smirked at me.
“Believe me, Ram. I plan to,” he said, and I willingly followed my new friend deeper into the bowels of Hell.
Present Day
“Betrayal is common for men with no conscience.”
—TOBA BETA
Istruggled against my restraints. Though more for something to do than because I was actually trying to get free. I knew there was no use. I was stuck. At least since that first night, when my hands had gone numb, they had adjusted the chains enough that I could sit comfortably.
How kind.
Fucking pricks. I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled, my gaze falling to the large book Ramel had thumped down on the table by the fire before he and Shem had taken turns giving me personality whiplash.
I couldn’t understand them. The longer they held me captive, the more confusing everything was. I knew in my heart I should hate them. They had abused me in nearly every way imaginable. They had put me through so much that I likely wasn’t even fully aware of the extent of the trauma they had inflicted on my psyche… so why did I miss them now that they were both gone? I realized suddenly that since I had been here, I hadn’t been alone once. Well, except for that time they tricked me. But even then, Art had been with me.
One of them wasalwayswith me. One of them wasalwaystouching me. When they weren’t degrading me or humiliating me, they were usually making me feel really fucking good.
They showered me with praise when I did the things they asked me to do, laughed at my jokes, and held me while I slept. They gave me earth-shattering orgasms every day, and as depraved as the sex was, they both seemed to get off on watching me come. And let’s be serious, who could complain about that?
Then they would turn around and do something like this. Shem would threaten me with a cattle prodder, or they would fucking chain me to the bed against my will. The word ‘no’meant nothing to them. Sometimes, they listened when I said it, but only if they felt I deserved a reward of some kind. It was absolutelyfuckedand toxic, so why did I like it so much?
Okay. Maybe I didn’t like being chained to the bed right now while they weren’t here, and I was bored as fuck, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to like being chained to the bed for other reasons.
For fuck’s sake, I needed therapy.
What the actual fuck waswrongwith me? I was clearly being conditioned, or groomed, or whatever it was called when prisoners fell in love with their captors… except…
Before Ramel left, he said that Yahweh had put me in purgatory because helovedme. Loved as in past tense. As in, we had met before. He had been stalking me my whole life, so that meant we must have met in one of my previously reincarnated lives.
