As I was tugged out of purgatory, the blinding white light of Heaven enveloped me. I might have forgotten what light was, but I hadn’t forgotten Lilith. Her name was the first thing that tumbled out of my mouth as I collapsed before God.
There was a disappointed sigh, and Yahweh curled His hand under my jaw, forcing me to look up into His ever-changing face. I cringed at the touch. My skin was raw from lack of contact, and even the softest caress now felt abrasive.
“Was four-and-a-half thousand years not enough time for you to learn your lesson, Ramel?” Yahweh asked, His voice falling like gunshots on my delicate ears. His tone was reminiscent of a parent scolding an unruly child. “Have you not forgotten about her yet?”
I shook my head, still reeling from the harshness of existing in reality.
“Never,” I said, my voice rough and brittle from lack of use.
Yahweh tutted His tongue again and ran His thumb down the center of my forehead.
“Never say never, Ramel,” He hummed, and suddenly, my memories went blank.
“Look upon me,heavenly being, for you are born of my light and the grace of eternity,” Yahweh said to me as I knelt in the burning white of Heaven. The first face I saw as my vision adjusted to the never-ending expanse of white around me was the face of God.
“In your essence lies the harmony of heavens, the fervor of my love, and the might of my sovereignty,” He said, running His thumb down the center of my forehead in what I intuitively understood was a blessing.
“You are Ramel, and you shall be burdened with the task of managing the deaths of mortals as a punishment for your sins.”
I looked down at what I instinctively knew were my hands and recoiled at the darkness that spilled from them. They were a taint, astain, in this pure white space.
“Open to receive me, Ramel, for I am Yahweh, and I will show you the way.”
God gently tilted my head up and looked down at me. I opened to receive Him, and He stroked my face fondly as I took Him wholly unto me. Tears streamed from my eyes as He praised me for my service.
“My beautiful creation,” He whispered as He spilled His holy sacrament down my throat. “Will you serve your God and savior?” He asked softly when He was finished.
I swallowed and raised my eyes to the face of God and nodded.
“I will.”
I stoodat what God had informed me were the gates of Hell and found myself feeling lost.
Nothing was familiar.
I felt abandoned.
I had been created only to be immediately tossed into this dark, busy space. There was much more to observe here than in the vast expanse of Heaven. There were black waters and a long bridge that led to a large, dark island filled with sinister-looking crystalline spires. A blanket of nighttime cradled this world, and I shivered in my shroud of shadows, not knowing what to do next.
I had been told to find a demon named Shemhazai. I did not know where to begin, so I resolved to just put one foot in front of the other and follow the obsidian bridge to the island that loomed before me.
I frowned as I noticed a small movement on the bridge. An animal of some kind… I frowned and focused on the small moving dot until it came close enough that I could make out the black being against the darkness of the bridge.
It was a cat.
I was startled as the cat suddenly changed shape, and a man with dark hair and tawny skin approached. He had a very large smile on his face, and his green eyes seemed to be glassy with unshed tears.
“Ram!” he cried and threw himself at me. I stiffened beneath his embrace, but he did not seem to notice. He held me tightly and shook with barely restrained emotion.
“You’re back! Fuck, man. It’s been just me for like four thousand years. Did you bring Li?—”
He pulled away from me, suddenly frowning. He opened and closed his mouth several times.
“Did you bring Li—” he tried again and looked confused for another moment before his expression turned angry. “That son of a bitch…” he breathed, still working his jaw as if he were trying to say something, but the words wouldn’t come to him.
“Sorry, who are you?” I asked. The man suddenly forgot that he had been trying to ask me something, and his eyes shot up to meet mine.
“Is that a fucking joke?” he asked incredulously, and I frowned.
