“Overwhelmed again. It’s…a lot.”
“Do you have the desire to close down?”
“No, I don’t think so. Just overwhelmed and drained. It’s a lot to process.”
“It is, but you are doing wonderfully, Summer. Take some time to think and relax. You have a three-day weekend this week, so you have extra time off. I’ll call you tomorrow and check in, okay?”
“Yeah, thanks, Sarah. Bye.” I’m so grateful to have Sarah in my life. That woman is a miracle worker. She understands my thoughts and guides me effortlessly from point A to point B.
Resting on the bed, I attempt to make sense of everything. Sue is still present and will remain so for a while. The diagnosis is indeed frightening, but it’s a long-term issue, not immediate. She’ll stillbe in my life. Jake will still be in my life. No more Jessica, that’s one positive. I shake my head. That’s enough for today, and I need to talk to Sue. Getting up, I head downstairs and find her in the kitchen. “Hey Sue,” I say.
Relief passes across her face. “Hi sweetheart, are you doing better?”
“Yeah, sorry for the freak-out today and Thursday night. I should have been supporting you with your news instead of running away to my bedroom.”
“Oh, Summer, no.” She comes over and hugs me. “There’s nothing to apologize for. We gave you too much information too fast. We handled that poorly. I didn’t want to burden you further with my news after my doctor’s appointment. Then Mary found your father and was so excited about that…we made a mess. I’m so sorry, Summer.”
“It’s okay, Sue. I’m handling it now. Thank you for calling, Sarah, by the way.”
“Of course. I’m glad she could help you. She has the magic touch,” Sue smiles.
“I need to understand why you didn’t tell me about your diagnosis, though. I mean, I get why that day, but it’s been months now. That hurts, Sue.”
“Come sit, sweetheart.” Sue pats the seat beside her at the table. “At first, it was because of the timing. I wanted to give you a bit to recover from the anniversary, then I denied it myself for a while. No one wants to accept that kind of news. I focused on other things and tried not to dwell on it. When Mary told me about your father, I realized I couldn’t live in denial anymore. I didn’t intend to hurt you.”
“I can understand your reasoning, Sue. Thanks for telling me. What happened with Mary?”
“I asked her to go home, and we’d call her the first of the week.”
“Okay, that works. Thanks.” The numbness is still present, yet diminished, but wants to return full force when I focus on leaving here.
“What can I do to help you now, sweetheart? Anything?”
“I need some normalcy for the rest of the day and to not think.”
“That we can do. Would you like to help me paint the kitchen cupboards?”
“Sounds perfect.”
Chapter 6
Sarah calls me Sunday morning as I’m finishing breakfast at the kitchen table with Sue. “Hi Sarah.”
“Hello Summer. Happy to see you awake and active this morning. How has the processing been going?”
“Okay, I think. Sue and I talked and cleared the air. We did normal things yesterday. My brain was processing behind the scenes while I took a break.”
Sarah smiles with a knowing wink. “Your brain does good work when your conscious mind is otherwise engaged. It always does. If you’re up to it, we should make a checklist like we used to. Getting questions answered about your new future should help. What are your thoughts?”
“I’ll grab a notepad and pen,” Sue offers, getting up and squeezing my shoulder.
“Thanks, Sue,” Sarah and I chorus. I smile down at her on the screen.
“Okay, Summer, let’s make a list. First up is Sue, since she’s here. What questions do you need answers to regarding her?”
I write Sue’s name down on top of the paper since I’m a visual learner, and writing things down always helps. I list my questions in order.
