“I hate him for it,” she said.
“Don’t. We aren’t together anymore,” I said.
“I know… Anyway, go tonight,” she said.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m tired anyway and want to catch up on sleep. The flight was crazy long,” she said.
“Thank you, Fale,” I said.
“Don’t. You’re the one doing me a favor by letting me crash with you,” she said.
“I’m not doing you a favor. You’re my little sister. You’re always welcome here,” I said.
“And that’s why I like you,” she said.
“Mm, you weren’t liking me so much when I was wiping the floor with you at Full Tilt,” I teased.
“We’re not going to talk about that,” she said seriously. “What we are going to talk about is what you are wearing tonight.”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I asked. She arched her brow at me.
“Okay, okay,” I laughed.
Not even an hour later, Fale approved of my outfit. I was wearing a skintight black dress that leaves little to the imagination, a loose flannel jacket, and combat boots. My dress was so short. If I bent over, they wouldn’t just get a little peek, my fat ass cheeks would be on full display. Note to self: no dropping anything. I waved Fale goodbye and she whistled as I rushed out.
I usually planned these meetups two weeks in advance to hype myself up, to give myself time until I had to actually do it. This one wasn’t like the last one. This one was unplanned and nerves buzzed under my skin. I got a text from Uriel saying hewas excited to see me and it was too late to back out. That’s just the coward in me, so I put the location in before I hopped in the car.
My dress slid almost all the way up my hips and I prayed I didn’t flash anyone tonight. I pushed away the thoughts of why I was going on this date. It wasn’t because he’s a nice guy and that I’m serious about him, it was because he’s hot and I wanted him to fold me in half. My heart dropped and I hated it. The clouds rolled in fast. I bit my lip, chewing on it before I realized what I was doing.
I released my lip from my teeth, straightened up, and drove before I could continue down the rabbit hole. By the time I pulled into a parking spot on the street, my heart raced and I wondered why I agreed to this so soon. I didn’t like making sudden decisions and this felt like one. I ignored the voice telling me to go home. The guilt ate at me and the clouds of depression above my head rumbled as I tried to ignore the truth that still haunted me. The truth I knew, that Ami knew, and not because I had told her, but because she knew me so damn well.
I’m cheating.
My mind knew Amos was a piece of shit that had already fucked everything and everyone he could, but my heart screamed that I was making the wrong choice. My Omega instincts were so shattered they couldn’t decipher up from down. He’d broken me so completely, I lost my scent, my ability to produce slick. I should have craved the Alpha more, but my broken heart still yearned for the Beta who’d conditioned me to be his.
Anytime I was near someone, I could barely look into their eyes, could barely talk without my body shaking in fear—not because of them, but from the way he conditioned me, trained me. My eyes remained on the ground. I had been sexting these men, showing them parts of me that only my mate should see,yet it didn’t bother me as much as being face to face with them. When I’m with them in person, my body defaults to my time with Amos.
He takes away any progress I make.
I did my best to pretend my throat wasn’t dry, or that the hole in my chest wasn’t leaking, and that my fingers weren’t trembling on the steering wheel. I unbuckled my seat belt and fumbled with my bag before I could change my mind and text him that something came up. I wanted to pull out of the parking spot and drive back home with my tail between my legs. Instead, I opened the door and stepped out. There were people on the sidewalks, cars driving by, and music coming from the bar.
The neon glow of the Ale House sign buzzed overhead, but it didn’t match the name on my screen. I hesitated, thumbing through my maps to confirm the address, certain the directions had led me to the wrong area. It wasn’t until I looked past the main entrance that I spotted it: a small wooden sign with an arrow pointing toward the shadows. Backyard. I followed the path around the side of the building, my heels clicking against the pavement until the muffled beat of music grew louder. A guy holding the door open for a group of friends caught my gaze and stepped inside, ushering me into the heat and noise before I could talk myself into turning around.
I laughed as the first thing I saw was a sign that read, “PLEASE DON’T DO COKE IN THE BATHROOM.” A pink neon light made it hard to miss. Then the smell hit me.Knots, it smelled amazing.My stomach growled like I had been starving all day. Nachos, burgers, fries, and excitement. Looking around, there were screens on every wall. People were wearing sports jerseys and I wondered if I overdressed. I don’t watch sports, so there’s no way I would have known if there was an event.
“Hey!” a voice called.
I turned to the right, and sitting at the bar was a beautiful man. He was wearing blue jeans and a button-up shirt with a drink in hand. He put it down on the counter, stood up, and his muscles strained against the material of his clothing. He made his way toward me and I needed to say something.
“You’re more beautiful than the pictures,” he murmured as he wrapped his arm around my waist and I tried not to tense up as I hugged him back.
“So are you,” I mumbled as the faint scent of cedar filled my broken senses. He pulled back slightly, his eyes holding mine. “I guess I have my answer.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“Omega,” he growled.
