“When did you find out?” she whispers through tears.
“I found out the night Ally sent you the message. She sent me the same one, asking about your identity. I never responded, but I hoped you would tell me yourself.” A pause. “You left because you were ashamed. Because you blamed yourself for what happened. You thought it was your fault.”
She sobs in my arms, and I let her.
Lilac
Istare at the man I’m chained to for the rest of my life. The man I thought I knew—but I don’t know him. He’s always one step ahead of me.
A sharp, electric rush slices through my chest. My hands curl into fists. I want to hit Irvin.
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I slap his hand away.
He knew my identity the entire time and never mentioned it.
Our eyes lock. His face is flat, devoid of emotion.
“Was anything real between us from the beginning?” The words slip out before I can stop them.
He straightens his spine and frowns. “Yes, my princess.” He pauses. “I didn’t need your truth to love you, Paige. I love you. I needed you to know that I love you no matter who you were—and who you are.”
His words piss me off even more. His love is damaging. It’s controlling.
Rage fills me as tears well in my eyes. Now I realize this was never about him controlling me because he loved me. He did itso I couldn’t go anywhere—so I would fall in love with him. Not only did he trick me into this marriage, he tricked me into falling in love with him. I was a mouse trapped in a cat’s game. I won the battle, but he won the war.
He made me into a person I never wanted to become. Manipulating other people to get what I wanted. I don’t like the person I’ve become. I’m starting to hate this version of me.
It’s a dance we’ve been doing. He controls me, and I fight. I submit to him—but not this time. I’m tired of being this person. I’m tired of going back and forth with him. I’m tired of the games. I’m tired of the manipulation. I’m tired of fighting. I want to be free.
He leans forward to kiss me, but I turn my head to the side. He grips my chin, forcing me to look at him. I peel his fingers away. Sadness blooms in his jade eyes. When he tries to press his lips to my temple, I push him away—hard. I shove him until his back hits the wall.
I sob uncontrollably. The ache in my chest grows deeper than the ocean.
“No more, Irvin. No more. I can’t do this with you anymore.”
He wipes the tears from my eyes, and I slap his face this time.
“You don’t love me—you need me. And what we have is toxic, Irvin.” My voice breaks. “This isn’t healthy. I’m tired of submitting to you. I’m tired of the manipulation and the games. You let me believe you didn’t know who I was the entire time. You watched me crumble, and you didn’t say anything. You watched me lie to you over and over. You watched me self-destruct.”
“I told you to get help with your PTSD. I offered. I even dropped hints to show you I knew.”
“When?”
“When I asked you whether your foster brother and boyfriend were the same person…” He pauses. “You looked me dead in theeye and lied to my face.” He folds his arms across his chest. “You were lying the entire time. I figured if you wanted me to know, you would have told me. So don’t put all of this shit on me.”
I slap him across the face again. He doesn’t flinch.
If I were anyone else, my body would probably be floating in the ocean by now. Irvin only harms people he considers a threat. I was never a threat to him. He was never afraid of me leaving. He never thought I would escape him.
“You only win because I allow it, my love.” His eyes narrow. “I wanted you to believe you had control—to see how far you would go. I wanted to see what my princess was capable of.”
His words freeze my heart.
“The only reason we’re together is that you trapped me in this relationship. I never chose you. You forced this on me. You even had the upper hand with my own fucking secret. You could have at least pretended you didn’t know.”
He shoves his hands into his pockets, eyeing me like I’ve grown three heads. “What good would it have done? To lie to you? If you’d found out later that I knew, you would’ve been mad. It’s not about me knowing who you really are. It’s about the fact that you can’t face what Emerson did to you.”
“Shut up, Irvin.”
