It’s stupid to apologize. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a grown-ass woman who doesn’t need permission to do what I want. I was safe at Lyrical and Snow’s place.
I fight the urge to try to earn his attention back on me.
I flip him off. “Fuck you, lunatic.”
He pauses for a second, then continues to drink his orange juice.
So I storm out of the kitchen as tears stream down my cheeks.
Lilac
This lunatic thinks he has all the power here. He kept up with his silent treatment, but the more he ignored me, the more it pissed me off. If he wants to act like a child, let the games begin. We’re going to see who has the upper hand.
I do what the fuck I want, and if he doesn’t like it, then fuck him.
We’re at the mansion he used to share with Jameson, Keanu, and Snow. I watch him from across the living room, and our eyes connect. He sips his drink from a red cup as “Mercy” by Kanye West blasts through the speakers.
I move my hips to the side.
I told him I was going to Jameson’s party, and he didn’t stop me, but he made sure to follow me. See? I’ve got the upper hand. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have followed me here.
I keep bumping my hips with Lyrical and Raven. Raven passes me her shot, and I down it. The room spins, and I catch myself before falling.
A woman walks up to Irvin and hands him a drink. She slides her fingers through his hair. I see red, but I hold my composure. Irvin is trying to get a rise out of me. It’s part of his manipulative games. She says something to him, but he keeps his eyes glued to me.
I roll my eyes, stride to the punch bowl, passing him without acknowledging him, but I feel his gaze following every step I take.
Fuck it, I’m horny. I need dick, and I need to fuck my husband.
I down the punch. The alcohol burns my throat.
I stand in front of Irvin and reach up to wrap my arms around his shoulders, but he keeps looking ahead. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss the corner of his mouth.
“Kiss me, you stubborn lunatic.”
He smirks but stays put, eyes locked on mine.
He doesn’t say anything for several moments.
“You’re a very disobedient woman.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh. He speaks.”
He thinks he holds all the power, but I do. He needs me, but I don’t need him. He needed me to trap me in this marriage. He’s the one who can’t live without me—not the other way around.
“Do you realize that I’m an adult and I can go anywhere I please?”
No response.
He pushes me away.
I’ve had enough of his shit.
I start toward Raven and Lyrical, then he pushes himself off the wall and heads toward the front door. I follow right behind him, on his heels.
Outside, the weather is cool, and the sun is setting, the sky bleeding a tangerine color.
He still doesn’t acknowledge me, but I keep walking. I just want sex from him, and he’s not giving it to me. It’s pissing me off. He can control me when he wants sex, but when I want it, he ignores me.
