“Shut up. He’s nothing like your parents. Does he have a record of killing people and dumping their bodies in acid like your parents? Yes, he kills people, but it’s a job. And he loves you more than anything in life. Did you know he’s been drinking because he’s so heartbroken over you, and he’s been texting me every day to make sure you’re okay?”
The way she puts it in perspective makes a lot of sense. I shouldn’t have allowed my aunt to get inside of my head. I should be able to make my own decisions, but there is always this nagging feeling in my head that I’m going to destroy our relationship.
“You’re sabotaging your relationship out of fear.” She straightens her back like a needle. “Believe me when I say this—you deserve to be happy, and you deserve for someone to love you the way you want. Sure, it’s not perfect, but love is not perfect.”
“I didn’t know you were an advocate for love since you have commitment issues,” I reply. “Fox has been blowing up your phone, and you’ve been ignoring him.”
I put two and two together—I’ve seen his name pop up on her screen.
“You and I both know I suck at relationships.”
She’s right; she does. She doesn’t stick around for too long, and when a guy she’s seeing mentions the word “relationship,” she’ll ghost him.
I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Why don’t you tell him?”
“I did! He won’t accept it.”
Light rain begins to fall from the gray sky, so we stand up and walk toward the entrance.
I giggle like a hyena. “Outgoing and life of the party Raven is scared of love.”
“Shut up!” she snaps. “We never celebrated you getting into NYU.”
I shake my head, and the rain stops all of a sudden. “I’m not going to school. I don’t want to. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and it’s not what I really want. I’m still going to do what I want to do—start doing documentaries on serial killers—and I don’t know what else is in store for me, but I have plenty of time to figure it out. But I want to be happy and be with Viper.”
She brings me into a tight hug, and a smile spreads across her face like butter. “I’m so happy for you. We should go to a bar and have a few drinks. What do you say?”
She takes out her phone and types on it before she puts it back in her pocket.
“Sure,” I say as I loop my arm with hers.
When we leave the park, we ride straight to her place, and I change into a pair of denim jeans, a brown blouse, and suede ankle boots. I’ve been staying with her because I didn’t want to run into Viper. I need to figure out what I want to say to him.
When we get to the bar, it’s packed with people dancing to the sounds of Lana Del Rey. We make our way to the bartop and slide onto leather stools, Raven sitting her purse next to her.
I signal to the bartender, and he walks our way with a smile on his face.
“I want a Long Island iced tea with extra sugar,” I say to him.
“What about you, pretty lady?” he asks Raven.
“I’ll have a shot of tequila. No, make it two,” she answers.
“Coming right up,” he answers, and several moments later, he makes our drinks and sets them on the wooden top.
Raven keeps staring at the entrance as if she’s expecting someone.
“Who is supposed to be here?” I ask before I take a sip of my tea.
Her eyes bounce everywhere but at me. “No one.”
Thirty minutes pass, and we spend it talking about life in general. A guy stands next to me—he smells familiar. I glance up at him, and it’s Viper. He’s wearing an expensive suit, and I miss him so much it hurts.
It’s been so long since he held me, so long since I kissed him. I don’t know what to do. I was the one who broke up with him, but honestly, this is one of the worst days of my life. I feel as if I’ve been sucker-punched in the gut. He cut his dark hair close to the scalp, and his gray eyes are intense.
“Hi,” I say awkwardly.
That is the only thing I can come up with—fuckinghi. I’m such a fucking dork.
