14
Chaos
I stop in frontof the barn and look up to where Willa is sitting up in the rafters, feet dangling in the air.
About once a month, I catch her slipping through the fence that divides our properties. She climbs to the highest peak of the old barn to look up at the stars through the hole that’s slowly rotted in the roof over the years. Tate talks about tearing down this barn, but Grandpa keeps putting it off.
Usually, when I catch Willa here, I turn around and leave because she’s clearly trying to get some space. But tonight, with the stars so bright above her, I can’t help sticking around.
“You think I don’t know you’re always sneaking out here in the middle of the night?” I call from the ground below.
“Caught me.” She smiles, but it’s sad.
Moonlight draws out the glassiness in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she lies, wiping the tears from under her eyes.
I climb up the stairs, balancing carefully on the rafters so I don’t fall. When I finally reach her, I sit, letting my feet dangle beside hers.
“It’s farther up than it looks.” I glance down at my feet floating in the air.
“You scared of heights?”
I shake my head.
“Right.” She rolls her eyes. “God forbid Dean Graham be scared of anything.”
“Didn’t say I’m not scared of anything, just not heights. Maybe rattlesnakes.”
“Same.” She shivers, and I chuckle. It’s enough to draw a smile to her cheeks, even if she’s still clearly a little sad.
“What happened tonight?”
She sighs, and it’s so deep it’s an answer in itself. It’s not just one thing; it’s all of it. I know; I come from a family like hers. Nice looking on the outside but fucking brutal with their high expectations. Right now, I’ve got the bruises on my ribs stinging with every movement to remind me just how high they are.
“Dad’s fucking the new girl who works at Ransack again. Mom’s pissed about it… again. Eden’s acting like the world revolves around her… again. Same old shit.”
I nod, not saying anything because there’s nothing to say. She’s right, it is the same old shit, and nothing ever changes around here—in her family or mine. She doesn’t want my sympathy; she just wants someone to listen.
After a long beat, I glance over at her. “Maybe the bartender will leave town like the last one did.”
That makes her laugh. “I think the entire female population of Lanceleaf would need to leave town for my father to stop screwing around on my mom. Even then, he’d just drive farther to find someone. Why can’t men be faithful?”
“They can.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Serious.” I shrug. “If a guy gives a shit, he won’t fuck that up.”
“You think so?”
I meet her stormy gaze. “I know so.”
Willa’s eyes are alive with her thoughts. So bright and pretty. She pulls her lip between her teeth, and I can’t help dropping my gaze to it.
It would be so easy to just lean in and kiss her. I’m never scared when it comes to making a move on girls, but she brings out every hint of my insecurity. I know I’m not what she’s looking for. It’s why she’s always hanging out with my brother when our families spend time together.
