‘Only just,’ I mutter.
Her eyes glower. ‘I’m never going to grow up if you don’t give me a chance to, am I?’
I am struggling to believe the words spilling from her mouth. I kept her alive. Safe. And she’s punishing me for it. I can’t even find my voice as she barrels on.
‘How come all the other girls in the slums work in the dirtiest of jobs, and I’m just playing kindergarten teacher, Rose? I’ll tell you how come. It’s because you were paying people off, right? Paying tithes to Rula. Making sure I never ended up working in one of those places. Oh yes,’ she says at my sharp glance, ‘do you think I don’t know how things work? I still lived in the slums, Rose, no matter how much you tried to coddle me!’
My anger rises, hot and swift. ‘I was not coddling you, you idiot. I was protecting you! Stopping you from ending up selling yourself to the highest bidder. Though that is what you have ended up doing all the same.’ I instantly regret the words, and when the slap stings my cheek – delivered with a strength I can’t help but admire – I know it is wholly deserved.
‘I’m sorry,’ I breathe. ‘I didn’t mean it.’ I place my palm against the red heat of my skin as I close my eyes. ‘It’s … it’s just such a shock, Kay. I wanted so much more for you.’ I open my eyes and meet her gaze, pleading with her to understand. ‘I wanted everything for you. Choice. A love match, even.’
Her rigid shoulders soften just a fraction. ‘This is what I want. A life of security is what I want, and Artur can offer me that.’
I swallow down the lump that threatens to fill my throat. ‘And what about when he wants more, Kay? What about when he wants to use you that way too?’
She can’t quite squash the grimace that dances up to her lips. ‘It is expected, I suppose,’ she responds, as if the idea doesn’t make her very skin crawl. ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.’
‘No! Godsdamn it, Acacia. Over my dead body.’
‘Well, it very nearly was, wasn’t it?’ she spits. ‘And still, you never once stopped to ask me what I want. You’ve spent so long protecting me, shielding me, but you’ve never even seen who I am.’
‘That’s not true, Kay,’ I say, stung. ‘I see you. I know you. More than any other.’
‘I don’t know if you do,’ she says slowly. ‘And I don’t know if I know you, either. I don’t know that person who beat a man close to death then killed him with a fucking rock.’
‘He deserved it,’ I snarl. ‘He killed my friend. Tried to kill me!’
‘But what gave you the right to dole out his punishment?’
‘I was defending myself!’
She lets out a long sigh. ‘Rose, maybe Artur isn’t who I dreamed of marrying, but I deserve to have some choice in the matter. And itismy choice. This is what I’m doing. Choosing to marry him rather than to be stripped and cast out again.’
I drop my head into my hands. She’s right; it is her choice. But she’s making a bad one. I promised Mother I would look after her, and standing by and letting her ruin her life is not that.
Before silence has a chance to fall, the door creaks open. I ready myself to make whoever it is leave again, only to find myself face to face with Lord Lorathin himself. Portly, balding, and with a gleam in his eyes that I want to punch out of them.
‘Ah, Acacia, my dearest,’ he says, sliding up to Kay and slipping his hand around her waist in a proprietary manner that makes me want to vomit. ‘Have you told your sister the good news?’
Her stubborn mouth flashes me a smile even as I can see the anxiety shining within her eyes. She will do this. She will marry this old man just to prove a point, just to prove she doesn’t need me to solve her problems.
Maybe she’s right, and I don’t know her at all, because I never believed my sister would be so damned stupid.
I stand. ‘Just in case you wanted it, please know that you do not have my blessing, and I will do everything in my power to make sure this obscene wedding doesn’t happen.’
With my final words said, I whirl around and storm out of the antechamber, only to collide with the frame of a young man. Another ward of Lorathin’s who I’ve just thundered into with such force that he’s crashed into the wall and fallen on his ass.
‘William,’ I say contritely. ‘I’m sorry.’ I offer a hand to him and pull him back to standing.
‘It’s fine. Father told me to wait outside the room. Gosh, you are strong.’ He gives me an admiring look. ‘No wonder you won the Retterheld. What you have done, it’s incredible. You must be so very, very proud.’
‘Yes, I am, thank you.’ I extricate myself from his gentle grip. ‘I hate to be rude,’ I say, brushing past him, ‘but I must go.’
‘Of course.’ He beams with fresh-faced innocence, the type I used to believe I saw in Kay. ‘I’m sure you have so many people to speak to. Everyone is talking about you.’
I bet they are.
I give him a loose wave as I head into the ballroom, my intentions set. I will find Hew and force him to marry Kay. Even that popinjay is better than Artur, with that sick gleam in his eye. I scan the room, which is a swirl of silks and wine, all jewel tones and false laughter. And though Hew is my target, my gaze falls on another instead.
