“The only regret I have about escaping is not taking them with me,” Dex says, squeezing me against his chest again.
“We don’t have them, though, so what do I do now?”
Jagger holds out the phone to me, and I read what he’s typed.“You start by making choices. About everything. What you want to eat, wear, drink. What you hate. What you want to watch on TV, how you want to act or speak.”
I glance up at him, passing the phone back. “I wouldn’t know any other way to speak or act, though.”
He types again, and I read it.“Do you ever want to say something, but hold your tongue?”I nod, and he types another message.“Don’t do that. Not with us. Say whatever comes to mind. The more you speak, the more you will find you favor speaking a certain way.”
I pass him back the phone as I frown down at my hands. I guess I do keep a lot of my thoughts internal. My eyes catch on the large expanse of grass, and I bite my lip nervously. What if all my questions bug them?
Deciding I should start now, I ask it aloud. “What if I start to annoy you?”
“Angel cake, you could never annoy me,” Pete says with a smile.
“What if I say something inappropriate?”
Dex snorts, and when I look up at him, he grins. “Baby, you’re with four escaped convicts. What exactly do you think you could say that would be inappropriate?” He pushes a strand of my long black hair behind my ear as he smiles softly at me.
My stomach tightens at the way his warm hazel eyes bore into me. “Why do I feel funny when you look at me like that?” I whisper, afraid to break the connection.
His eyes widen just a fraction. The movement is so small I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t been looking directly at him. He’s silent for a moment before he asks, “Have you felt that before?”
“A couple of times since I met you four.”
“But never before that?” Sly asks, making me turn to him. His green eyes are staring at me so intensely that I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can answer.
“No. Why? What is it?”
“Attraction.”
I feel my cheeks heat, and I move my hands to cover them, feeling the heat of my embarrassment against my palms. I knew they cared for me, but I thought it might be platonic that they see me as more of a friend or sister. I definitely did not see them as brothers; that was for sure. The feelings they stirred in me were the furthest thing from friendly.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Dex whispers as he nuzzles my head. “You don’t know how good it feels to know you’re attracted to me, too. Even with all my scars.”
“I love your scars,” I rush to reassure him as I move my fingers to trace over some of the more visible ones. “They tell me you’ve been through a lot and came out stronger.”
Dios mio! He just said he’s attracted to me, too!
My mind whirls at what he just admitted. I’m not sure what to do with that information.
His hazel eyes seem to heat, and the feeling low down in my stomach only intensifies. I move a hand to press against my lower abdomen as I ask, “Do you feel it too? Down here?”
His eyes drop to my hand, and he grunts. “I feel it a little lower than that, baby.”
I frown, wondering what he means, until understanding dawns on me. “Oh!” Suddenly, I’m imagining us being naked as I sit in his lap and feel more than my cheeks heat, unsure why that thought makes me so hot.
My eyes dart around to the other three, who are all watching me with the same heated expressions. I eye their bodies, wondering what they would all look like naked. It’s not like I could ever find out. It was illegal to have sex before marriage, and you could only marry one person.
Or was that all a lie, too? I open my mouth to ask the question, but something stops me. What if that was a lie, too? Would they even want to have sex with me? I barely even knew what sex was; there was no way I was ready to open that can of worms yet. I’d only just learned that this achy feeling in my core was attraction. And as far as I know, Dex is the only one attracted to me like that.
“Maybe it’s time we get going?” Sly asks, breaking up my internal dilemma. “Hopefully, the next stop will be for the night, and we can start ordering supplies.”
The thought of new clothes has me perking up as Dex helps me stand. Clothing may be the first thing I choose for myself as I try to figure out who I am.
The one thing I worried about is when I finallyfound myself, would the guys still like me? But isn’t it more important to figure out who I am? If they don’t like who I turn into, well, I’d be sad, maybe even heartbroken, but at least I’d know; at least I’d finally be me.
I let go of Dex’s hand and stop walking as I turn to face the grass. Maybe there was something I could choose for myself before buying new clothes.
