“Grooming? Isn’t that something you do to a dog?” I ask in confusion.
He shakes his head. “It means he was shaping you to be what he perceived as the perfect wife. Someone who would agree with everything her husband says, someone who would want no life of her own, who would willingly cook and clean with a smile on her face, and instead of asking if she even loved him or not, she would simply be there to make him happy.”
The realization twists inside me until I can barely breathe. Is that what Robert was doing my whole life?Grooming me? I don’t have anyone to compare my life to, no way to know what was ever right or normal. It feels like everything I am has been peeled back, and underneath, there’s nothing real. Just the parts he built, piece by piece, until I became exactly what he wanted.
I try to blink back the tears as I turn my worried eyes back to Sly. “Who even am I?”
His eyes turn pitying, and the dam breaks. I throw my hands up to cover my face as a sob bursts from me. Dex lifts me into his lap, his large arms surrounding me as he whispers soothingly to me. “It’s okay, baby. We’re here now. And we’re gonna make everything better.”
“H-How?” I stutter out around my tears.
“First, you’re going to take a few deep breaths and try to relax,” Sly says as his thumb wipes the tears from my cheeks.
Taking a deep breath, I do as he says, and when the tears finally stop flowing, Dex speaks. “Why don’t you tell us what worries you the most right now?”
I take a moment to consider the question before answering. “I don’t know what I don’t know. What else did he lie about?”
I sniff for a second before something else clicks in my head, and I let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Women can have jobs, can’t they?”
“Yeah, baby. They can do anything men can.”
“I should have figured that one out already. I’d seen women working at the diners and the clothing store.”
Dex tilts my head back, then wipes away the remaining tears from my cheeks. “Much better,” he says with a smile. “Now listen, women can wear, eat, drink, and dress however they want. They can have any job a man has. Of course, thatdoesn’t mean you have to work, cause I’m gonna take care of you.”
“Weare going to take care of you,” Pete corrects.
“Did your brother tell you what you’d have to do as a wife?” Sly asks carefully. I glance at him and can see he’s trying to remain calm, but his eyes give him away. He’s angry.
“Yes. He said a good wife cooks and cleans the house for her husband. In one of my brother’s lessons, he explained how I’m not supposed to ask about his business, just ask how his day was.”
His eyes narrow slightly as he asks, “What else did he tell you in these…lessons?”
I think for a second as Dex’s hand runs soothingly up and down my back.
“To curtsey when meeting a man, never to speak back or argue, to always do as I’m told…” I trail off, starting to realize how controlling it all sounds. My eyes meet Sly’s as I whisper, “I didn’t know it could be any other way.”
I feel my lip quiver, and I slam my eyes shut tight, trying to take control of my emotions. I may not know who I am anymore, but I refuse to be a girl who cries all the time.
Dex squeezes me to him as I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. The reassurance he’s providing me right now gives me time to think and reminds me that I’m not alone anymore.
I lift my head and look at Sly as I finally ask, “Will you guys help me figure out who I am?”
“Of course, Wren.”
“I have no idea where to start or how I even do that.”
“If we had your letters, we could start with those,” Pete says with an uncharacteristic frown.
“How would that help?”
“Nobody coaxed you to write those, right?”
I nod, trying to figure out what he means.
“You wrote to us because you wanted to, and the words you put on that paper were all your own.”
“But you couldn’t bring them with you,” I say, knowing they couldn’t exactly sneak out of prison with nine months' worth of letters under their arms.
