“I didn’t think you’d go with me if I asked because you were in love with her. That hurt for more than one reason. I could see it. Everyone could. But you were my girlfriend. I asked you just to see if you’d say yes, honestly. When you did, it was like, ‘Okay. Maybe she does want me and not Larissa. Maybe I’d been wrong the whole time, and this could work.’ We had a whole year together out there, and it was a blast, but the whole time, you called and talked to her and seemed to laugh more with her than you ever did with me, and I worried that when we got back, you’d still be in love with her. I was right, so it had to be over.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It hurt back then, but I’m all good now. I’ve got an amazing life. And I don’t regret taking that trip with you. We had so much fun. It was like you were what I needed then, and maybe I was a little of what you needed then, too.”
“You were, Kacey.”
“Then, that’s a good thing, and we can both think back on that trip and know we have a lot of good memories.”
“Yeah, we do. I don’t regret any of my time with you.”
“Tell me something, Harlow. You’re both single?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re still not brave enough to tell her how you feel?”
“She held my hand when I had to take my mom in for cancer treatments, Kacey. My mom’s okay now, by the way, but she wasn’t for a while, and Larissa was there. She held my hand and told me everything would be okay, and I believed her. She’s been there with me through my whole adult life. If I tell her, and shedoesn’t feel the same way, it will change everything, and I guess I’d rather have her in my life and not be with her how I want than risk that change.”
“I get it, Harlow. And I haven’t seen you in a long time, so I’m not the right person to be telling you about this, but what happens when you have to watch her walk down the aisle toward someone else, while you’re standing up there as her maid of honor or something? I can’t imagine that’s going to feel very good. And things will change for you two then, right?”
“I know,” Harlow said and heard a knock at her door. “Hey, I’ve got to go, but we should talk more.”
“Sure. Just let me tell my wife that the girl I ran around the country with for a year when we were in our early twenties wants to start talking to me again.” Kacey laughed. “She’ll love that idea, I bet.”
“Fine. I’ll talk to you or not, then. How’s that?”
“Good luck, Harlow,” Kacey replied. “I mean that.”
“Thanks,” she said and hung up. “Come in.”
“Hey. You okay?” Larissa asked, peaking in.
“I’m good. I was just on the phone. What’s up?”
“Want to come out and watch a movie with me?”
“Are you going to be working or actually watching?”
“Watching,” Larissa said with a smile.
“Okay. Then, I’ll be right there.”
“I’m going to change into PJs. Meet you out there,” Larissa told her.
Harlow just nodded and sighed again.
CHAPTER 13
Larissa stared at her laptop screen and reread the email. The next couple they were going to interview tonight needed to move the meeting. It would throw the schedule off a bit, but she checked the room reservation system and was able to make the change. Doing these interviews remotely was a possibility, but so many people had volunteered to meet, and she knew it would be better to see them in person to get a real feel for them. She hadn’t started writing the actual book yet, but her outline was beginning to take shape, which was progress. Of course, her dissertation file was still sitting on her desktop, untouched. The goal had been for her to finish it by the end of the semester since her advisor had only given her one semester off from a teaching load, which was part of her program, but as it was, she couldn’t see that happening, and she only had herself to blame.
“Hey, I’ll be back in a little bit,” Harlow told her when she made her way out to the living room, where Larissa was working on the sofa.
“Where are you going?”
“Oh, nowhere. Just out.”
“A date?” she asked.
