“I’m so lucky you belong with me,” he murmurs.
Withhim, nottohim. One word makes all the difference.
“They’re going to know I’ve been crying,” I say through a watery laugh, pulling out of his embrace. My hands run over my face, clearing the remaining tears.
“They don’t matter, Finley. Only you. And you’ve got this.”
I splash some water on my face, then blot it with a paper towel. Better, but still not great. Good thing I won’t be judged on my appearance.
“Thank you for being here, for choosing me. I never thought I’d have this.” I motion in the air between us. “I didn’t think something as good asthiscould exist.”
Zach swallows hard. “Me neither,” he croaks, then clears the emotion from his throat before speaking again. “Show them what I already know—Finley Harris is a force to be reckoned with.”
I roll my shoulders, taking one last deep breath. “I won’t let you down.” Zach huffs out a laugh when I wink at him. “Prepare to be impressed.”
“You ready?” Veronica greets me as I stroll into the gym. She stands beside Coach Miller on the edge of the floor, her head barely reaching his shoulder.
I force a smile. My body still surges with nerves. “Absolutely. Sorry for the delay.”
Veronica waves a hand. “It gave Coach Miller time to catch up with his favorite gymnast.” She winks at me, then pitches her voice low to talk to Coach. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us.”
Zach enters the gym and goes to the alcove, the spot where he watched me train when Veronica ordered him away for distracting me. His presence centers me.
It’s me and you out there, all right? And in case it’s not obvious, I’m going to love you no matter what happens.
Coach Miller pats her on the shoulder. “I appreciate it.” His attention shifts to me. “So, Finley, Veronica speaks highly of you. I saw you compete years ago too. Your gymnastics was always impressive. How long have you been back in training?”
I fight the urge to cross my arms. “Since last summer, but I’ve been training relentlessly. I’m not back to where I was… you know… before, but I’m confident I will be by next season.”
“Are you okay sharing what made you step back from the sport?” he asks.
I appreciate his phrasing, the way he gives me the option to opt out of answering. Last summer, I would’ve run from this conversation.
I look at Veronica, then Zach, thinking about how telling each of them didn’t go the way my mind told me it would. I thought they’d want nothing to do with the “crazy” girl who couldn’t control her emotions. But they both stayed. They love me anyway.
And if this coach judges me for my condition—for something I can’t help—then fuck him. I will find someone else who accepts me as I am. Because that’s what I deserve.
“I needed to focus on my mental health. I have bipolar disorder and had to learn how to manage it. Which I did. I’m healthier than ever, and I can answer any questions you have.”
He nods slowly, taking in my explanation. The confession doesn’t cause him to drop eye contact or scrunch his face with worry or disgust. “Thank you for telling me, Finley. I value honesty. It’s something we need to talk about more if you join the team, but we’ll cross that bridge then.”
I nod. “Where do you want me to start?”
He gestures over his shoulder. “I’d love to see those famous beam skills.”
A genuine smile stretches across my face. “You’ve got it,” I say before striding to the apparatus I’d dominated when competing in elite gymnastics. My other events are solid, but I thrive on that four-inch beam. I mastered it after forcing myself to spend hours practicing difficult skills repeatedly until I defeated the fear of falling.
Veronica approaches while I’m setting up the springboard. “You got this, Fi.”
“I know,” I tell her, straightening to my full height after placing the springboard in the exact place I need for my mount. “But thank you.”
“You don’t need me anymore, huh?”
“I’ll always need you. You’re a huge part of why I know I can do this. So let me show off how good of a coach you are.”
She shakes her head, but I glimpse a smile blossoming on her face before she heads back to Coach Miller.
I step onto the springboard, my back to the beam, and breathe in deeply. I take one glance over my shoulder, then raise my hands in the air, and bounce on the springboard to gather momentum for my backflip. I catch the beam with my arms while my legs remain straight in the air before they drop and I swing myself onto the apparatus.
