“Tell me.”
“If I have to,” I say with a deep breath, as I keep her locked against my side.“I was just thinking of how we’re going to work once the season starts. There are some road trips where I’m gone for ten days or more at a time. I have a crazy-hectic schedule during the season. Between games, practice, video sessions, training, and sponsor events, I barely have time to think sometimes. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not a priority to me. Don’t even get me started on the media, they love anything resembling a story, then there’s the puck bunnies, they are everywhere. I just don’t want you to have to deal with that especially when I’m on the other side of the country, or having you think that you can’t talk to me about it because I’m so busy or because you don’t want to distract me,” I rush out, hoping she understands.
“I can’t say that this topic hasn’t crossed my mind either, but I know you’re a stand-up guy. I’m not young and naïve enough to think that everything the media says is true,” she says, shifting from having her head on my lap to straddling my lap, graspingthe back of my neck comforting me. “I trust you, Ian. I wouldn’t be doing any of this with you if I didn’t. Just be honest with me at all times and don’t hide things from me. The media gets in your face tell me, some girls are giving you a little too much attention, tell me. On my end, I’ll talk to Ellie about it to see how she and JJ handle the circus that is being in a relationship with a professional athlete.”
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I ask, hating how insecure I sound.
“Promise. If I stop or if I start questioning us, I promise to talk to you about it. But promise me that you’ll do the same and that you’ll always be honest with me, no matter what. Even if you think or you know it’s going to upset me or hurt me, okay?”
“Promise,” I agree, sealing it with a soft kiss. I don’t think I’ve ever meant anything as much as I mean the promise I just made. On the other hand, I’m still uncertain on how on board she is with all this and I hate it. I don’t want to question her or her intentions but I’ve been here before. I’ve had someone tell me they understood and they were on board, however, when it came down to it they couldn’t handle the pressure.
“Good,” she says, pressing another kiss to my lips. “Now, let’s go get ready so we can tackle that cat list!” she says quickly, changing the subject which does not make me feel better. “I can’t believe I get to cross adopting an animal off my list today! Seriously, because of you, I’ve accomplished so many things this summer!” she excitedly spits out as she gets out of bed and makes her way to my ensuite.
Shit. Does she actually only see me as someone who can help her cross some stuff off a list? Here I am seeing her as the woman for me. The partner I didn’t know I was looking for. Just the other day at lunch, the boys laughed at me because I was so caught up in a daydream about her—I had seen a little girl, maybe five, in a pink tutu holding her mom’s hand as theycrossed the street. Immediately, I picture Hannah holding our daughter’s hand as they cross the street to join me for lunch. Yet, she just wants to cross stuff off a list.
I should have known not to jump into this blindly with both feet. Look what happened the last time. I should have tread more carefully. I should have gone on one foot at a time. I should have waited for her to lead the way, I should have spent more time gauging where she was instead of quickly falling for her like I did.
Chapter 35
I had to get out of bed ASAP, if not I was going to spill all my secrets, and I’ve put too much time, thought and energy into my grand gesture. I could see he was worried about what was going to happen once our summer bubble popped and his season started back up again. I hated myself a little for creating that worry in him, but it just solidified that I had to show him, not only tell him, that I had both feet in this and that I wasn’t going to leave him. I had to show him that along the way, along the items on my Bucket List, I’ve fallen in love with him.
My plan was fool proof. I even got Sadie to help me. First, Beth was going to call us and say that I couldn’t pick up Daisy this afternoon. As much as I wanted to bring my baby home, I needed Ian to know that he was also on the hook for her, not that I think he would mind. I know he would try to cheer me up and either suggest a horse back ride or a diner out. I’m hoping he suggests the horseback ride on his parents ranch because that’s where Sadie comes in.
When I called her two days ago to tell her I wanted to grand gesture her brother, I had to pull the phone away from my ear.She squealed so loud. I think she was more excited than I was, saying her brother deserved this. To say she was on board would be an understatement. She agreed to have what I’ve deemed my and Ian’s spot ready for us. It was the spot along the creek that runs through the ranch where he brought me the first time he took me for a ride, where he helped me cross off the first item on my list. Sadie was going to make sure there was a blanket, bottle of wine, food, and most importantly the journal and pen I had dropped off to her after I had called her. I figured we could spend the evening there and watch the stars like he promised we would one day. Sadie even offered to drive the side-by-side down and bring the horses back for us so we could stargaze.
As long as our journal is there, everything else is just a bonus.
Taking a deep breath and shaking out my shoulders, I steel myself to keep my mouth shut and step out of the bathroom and back into Ian’s bedroom. I take a moment to look at him sitting up against the headboard of his bed, scrolling through his phone. He looks worried, dejected a little, but I can’t let that phase me. The small horrible part of me feels almost giddy because I know he’s not expecting today to go as I have planned.
Straightening my shoulders, telling myself not to ruin this surprise, I ask, “When did you want to start on that list I made for Daisy?” which pulls him away from his phone.
“Whenever you’re ready, it’s already past ten. Let me just take a shower. Did you want to grab food before shopping?”
“Yes please!” I agree, the more I can stall him the better. I don’t want him to suggest going to the ranch too early, even though we’re only scheduled to pick up Daisy at four and asked Beth to only give us a call around three. Seriously, I am so impressed with all the details I thought about when putting this surprise together for Ian. I see the appeal of surprises now, I almost feel bad for always ruining the surprises Ian does for me.
Almost five hours later, after taking my sweet time eating brunch and dragging Ian to every possible pet store in the city, we’re pulling into Levi’s driveway to drop off everything I got for Daisy. I insisted that I wanted everything set up or at least in the house before we went and grabbed Daisy, when my phone rings.
“Hi, Beth! Ian and I are just dropping some stuff up at home and we’ll be on our way to pick up Miss Daisy,” I say, answering the phone, letting her know I’m with Ian.
With a small giggle she says, “Right, well, unfortunately something came up and you can’t pick Daisy up this afternoon. I have to close the shelter up early.”
“Oh no! What happened?” I ask, playing along for Ian’s sake.
“Crap, I didn’t think of that—you’re going to have to come up with something on your own.”
“That’s fine, as long as I can come pick her up tomorrow afternoon?” I ask, knowing that that’s what we agreed to when I called her yesterday.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at four. Good luck with your plan! I can’t wait to hear all about it!”
“All right, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, trying to sound disappointed. I’ve never been a great actress, or good at lying; hopefully Ian doesn’t see straight through me.
“Everything all right?” Ian asks, the minute I pull the phone away from my ear.
“That was Beth. She said both her and Ron got umm . . . food poisoning and had to close the shelter up early, so I can’t go pick up Daisy today. I’m gonna have to go tomorrow,” I explain.
“I’m sorry, Hannah. I know how much you were looking forward to picking her up today. At least it gives us time to get all this stuff organized,” he says motioning to the dozens of bags we have in the backseat of his truck. “How about we bring all this stuff in, go grab an early supper and go for an evening ride on the ranch? Horses always make everything better.” And just likethat, he falls perfectly into my trap. It takes all the willpower I have not to jump up and down in happiness that I’m going to be able to pull this off.
“Yeah, I guess we can do that,” I say, with every ounce of acting I have in my body. I make my way out of the truck as fast as I can and grab a few bags out the backseat.
