“I think you’re cooler than you were last summer.” I say, and he grins up at me, an eyebrow raising.
“Oh? How so?” My fingertips are wandering and they shouldn’t be—theyreallyshouldn’t be. But he’s right here and he’s wet, warm, and so fucking pretty.
“You’re a little badass now, telling people how it is.” He laughs. “And you get stronger every time you breathe. When you’re forced to live with the things you are, I think you have to.” Benjamin is now looking at me the same way he used to when I was kneeling over him—my fingers deep inside of him or my hand wrapped around his cock. Like I’m his God.
“Yeah?” My fingers graze over his collarbones, disrupting the water puddle.
“And you’re still beautiful. I think you get prettier every time I see you.” I’m watching my fingers as they trail down his stomach, moving to trace his sides, his waist, his hip bones—then settling on the skin between them. I lay my palm there.
“Aaron.” I lift my gaze to meet his. His eyes tell me before he opens his mouth. He wants more. And we can’t. “I understand now. I understand why he didn’t want me here.”
I feel like a bucket of cold water has been tossed over my head, reminding me that no matter how much I love him, Benjamin is not mine—he is dating Drew. I can’t touch him; I can’t openly love him. I’m about to pull my hand back when his palm covers mine.
“But I’m happy I came anyway.” Then, he splashes me with a big wave and disappears underwater.
I watch him reappear halfway across the pool. And just like that, the topic is dismissed. It’s once again time to play.
“No fair—you’re a professional.” He laughs, shrugging his shoulders at me dramatically.
“And you’ve literally never failed at anything considered athletic in this world. Can it.”
I swim toward him, watching him stand there grinning. And when I get closer—close enough to reach out and almost touch—he ducks underwater again and I watch as he flies by me, grazing my thigh with his hand. When he resurfaces back where we started, I glare at him.
“You did that on purpose.” Benjamin just keeps grinning. “You’reteasingme, aren’t you, Button?” It might as well be midday with how bright his smile is—one of those intoxicating sun smiles making another appearance.
“Maybe.”
“Mm, I think you’re causing trouble.” I narrow my eyes on him, watching him squirm under the intensity of it. “You do a lot more of that now.”
“Well, I have no one here to teach me.”
I’m moving so fast across the water that you’d thinkIwas the swimmer here. Benjamin squeals,trying his underwater escape again—but I’m familiar with it now and snatch his ankle, dragging him back to me. When he pops up, I turn him to face me, hands on his biceps, staring down at him as he shivers. He’s staring at my mouth, then my eyes, then my mouth and back again. The cycle repeats. I can feel his dick thickening from where he’s pressed against me.
“Do you not remember anything I taught you?” I ask him, panting, trying to calm myself and willing my own erection to disappear. He slowly shakes his head, breathing hard.
“I think this requires more of a kinesthetic, repetitive learning method—it’s not a memorizing material kind of thing.”
My skin is on fire where I’m holding him, where our hips and legs are touching. The implications of what he’s saying are dangerous, and it seems no matter how many times we steer away from this moment, we circle back again.
“What can I give you that won’t hurt you, Benjamin?” His eyes close; he shudders. “I will give you anything if you ask for it. But I don’t want to be the reason you hurt. Not anymore.”
I find that I’ve been leaning down, and he’s been rising onto his tiptoes. We’re getting closer and closer by the second, and I should lean away and go to bed. I should take a cold shower and take a walk, sleep in the pool house alone, chain myself to the fence outside so I don’t fucking touch him.
Right before our lips meet Benjamin places his cupped palm over my mouth, the back of his knuckles pressing against his own. He whimpers—which in turn pulls a groan from me. I haven’t heard that soft, delicious little sound in so long now. Not when it was meant for me at least. I kiss the palm of his hand, my own gripping him tighter and tighter.
“You look like you want to eat me.” Benjamin whispers, looking up at me—big hazel eyes blown wide with something more than alcohol.
“I do. I really,reallywant to.”
“Aaron…”
“I know.” We can’t. Never again. It’s the rules.
“I want you to fuck me. I know you can’t, but I want it. I’ve wanted it for so long.” He removes his hand from his mouth and places it on my chest. “But I can’t do it to Drew—I can’t cheat on him. I would hate myself. And you set your boundaries long ago. You just… you smell so good, Aaron. Like home.”
I shove the first knuckle on my pointer finger in my mouth and bite as fast as I can. Doing anything—whatever I can—to stop myself from pushing him against the side of the pool and eating him in one bite. He’s drunk; tomorrow he’ll be cautious Benjamin, keeping a healthy distance, and things won’t be so hard. I just have to get through this—this one impossible night.
“I’m sorry, Button. I’m trying really, really hard.”
