For one, he’s younger than me. Sure, only by a year and a half, but soon I’ll be eighteen, and for a few months, he’ll still be sixteen. That right there is a case. And two, he’s Felix’s best friend. We’ve watched each other grow up. There’s no way I could do anything with him, even if I wanted to. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure he’d run screaming if I so much as reached out to touch him. Yet, when I think of him lying there, or of the way he walks into the kitchen in his sleep pants, eyes barely open and ready for breakfast, I feel my temperature spike.
If I don’t distract myself immediately, I’m afraid I’ll have a bodily reaction that will horrify me, one I can’t come back from.
Felix gets in the truck, and we make our way home as he tells me about practice and his new long-distance record. I let his chattering distract me, enjoying the brief reprieve as I drive us. Once we arrive, he drops his bag in the living room and runs out through the back sliding doors to where I can see Benjamin lyingby the pool, shirtless, his feet swinging in the water. Good God. I pivot toward the kitchen.
“Hello, Little Bird,” Mom says sweetly as I enter, sitting down to watch her prepare lemonade for the boys.
“Hi, Momma. How’s your day?”
“Good, good.” She’s distracted, as usual. She’s the smartest airhead I know. “How about you, Aaron?”
“I’m good.” She stops abruptly and looks up at me. Not a single damn thing gets past her. Felix and I stopped trying to lie to her years ago because no matter how well we spin it, she always knows. I can see the moment she decides to let me off the hook.
“Well,” she looks me over again. “That's good. Would you be a dear and ask Fe and Bear if they want peaches? I’ll cut them up for them.” I sigh, grateful for the verbal escape she’s offering me but frustrated all the same. Can’t avoid him forever when he practically lives here, I guess.
I head outside, watching as Felix leans over where Benjamin lies, laughing loudly as Benjamin tickles him relentlessly. I approach, a feeling of warmth spreading through me at their blatant expression of happiness and love. They really are soulmates, whether platonic or not.
“Do you guys want peaches? Mom’s asking.” Both boys look up at me, and my eyes automatically shoot to Benjamin when he speaks.
“Personally, I wouldlovea peach.” He grins, and I feel something stutter inside of me.
Once again, I’m caught in those eyes, thatlook. My skin heats, every nerve in my body lighting up with anticipation, as if I can feel his presence without even touching him. He looks up at me from his spot on the concrete so lazily, so effortlessly, with those fucking eyes that seem to beg me to show him what real pleasure is.
I take a deep, silent breath. I need to find a balance here, to figure out how to coexist without turning feral the moment I get even the smallest hint of his attention. Will I ever be able to?
Fortunately, things aren’t as bad as I thought. I’m able to chat with them like nothing is wrong, laugh at their antics, and I start to calm down. I fall into the familiar rhythm of our little family and take another deep breath. See? I knew it was nothing. Nothing at all. I’m here, standing over a half-naked, sweaty Benjamin, and even though he’s giving me one of those sun smiles again, I don’t feel like I’m melting from my core anymore.
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m afraid I’m too tame. I wouldn’t be able to entertain you as Fe can,” Benjamin says in response to Felix’s dramatic antics, insisting I take him as a brother instead.
A startled laugh forces its way out of my chest. Entertain me? I could think of—no. I shake my head. Surely he didn’t mean for it to sound so… suggestive.
Felix gasps and continues his act of fake anger and betrayal, and I keep a smile plastered on my face, trying my best to catch my breath. I can see the beads of sweat dripping down Benjamin’s collarbone.
I’m afraid I’m too tame.What does that even mean? I’m startled from my thoughts as Benjamin grabs Felix and pushes him backward into the water.
Using this distraction, I take my escape. Shouting to Mom that yes, they want peaches, I disappear upstairs and lock myself in my room.
What the fuck is this? There goes my balance, my coexistence.
My chest feels warm and tight, and the familiar feeling of arousal skates over my body. My briefs grow tighter and I groan, dropping my head into my hands as I sit on my bed. This cannot be happening. I cannot be doing this. Not now, not when I know exactly who made my body react this way.
My pants grow more and more uncomfortable, so I unbutton them and pull them down to my knees. The tent in my briefs is uncomfortably large, a wet spot forming where my head is tucked. I sigh. Slowly, I pull my dick out, letting it sit there annoyingly proud as I rest the waistband of my underwear lower on my thighs.
Staring at it, the disappointment and arousal swirling around me make the air heavy and thick. I don’t touch, leaning back on my palms. But the air from the fan above hits my sensitive skin, and I hiss. I’m pulsing. God, this is torture. But I can’t bring myself to do it. To stroke myself to the thought of him.
I hear Felix’s door open and shut, and my eyes snap up to the bathroom door, making sure I locked it too. I let out a breath and relax again. Then I hear him.
“Fe, I’m not rubbing your back. You’re so needy. My thighs are still sore from the gym, and you don’t offer to massage those for me, do you?” His voice is loud, like the bathroom door to Felix’s room is open and he’s right there, right outside of it. I choke on a gasp as my hand curls around my shaft, his voice carrying into my room so sweetly that I don’t even remember allowing myself to touch.
Slow, steady strokes. I listen as he talks, unable to hear Felix. I realize he must be on the phone with him.
“Yeah, whatever. I’m changing right now, don’t rush me.” I try my best to stifle a groan, my hand tightening at the thought. Benjamin is taking off his clothes, piece by agonizing piece. My thumb grazes my tip and spreads precum along my dick.
If I opened the door right now and kissed him, would he let me? Would he hang up, follow me into my bedroom, lie down, and let me—
I rip my hand off of my dick, seconds away from blowing. Nope. I won’t do this. I won’t come to the thought of touching my kid brother’s best friend.
“I’m coming now, do you want your sneakers? Okay, cool, I’m coming.” I hear the door open and close again.
