Defeated, in the world’s most painful trek, I take my horny ass to the shower and turn the cold water on. I’m the worst.
???
Amber smiles as she dances on me, grinding back against me as the lights flash and the music thumps loudly. After theI-almost-came-to-Benjamin’s-voiceincident, I texted a few friends and found the closest party in town. Amber, ever the supportive one, came with me as my designated driver. God, do I love her.
I watch her ass move in the little skirt she's wearing as I hold her hips, my gaze already a little blurry from the alcohol. I can feel my dick getting hard, and I almost sigh in relief that it’s her and not somebody else causing my body to react like this. I lean over her back and whisper in her ear,
“Wanna get out of here?”
Except it comes out pretty slurred and not nearly as sexy as I intend it to. She laughs.
“One more drink.” We walk to the kitchen, where she gets me a beer and herself a water. Zach, one of the guys who plays on our basketball team, spots us and smiles brightly.
“Amber! Aaron! You guys actually came. You’re normally too cool for parties.” He laughs, but I can sense an edge of hurt in his voice. Amber rests a hand on his shoulder.
“What do you mean, too cool? If we didn’t have to study more than y’all, we’d be here every time. No need to remind us you’re smarter, Z.” Zach smiles at her response, clearly sated by it. Amber is so much better at calming people than I am.
“Yeah, you know I always have a great time when I’m able to come.” I give him a lazy grin, and he laughs, clapping my back.
“That’s true, Archer. That is true. Do you guys wanna play flip cup? We have a game going in the main bedroom.”
Amber shakes her head and I watch Zach frown around his ginger mustache.
“Unfortunately, this guy is about to fall over, and I promised Momma Bird I’d return him at a decent time.” I smile again at Zach and shrug.
“Momma’s boy,” I say with a smirk. He shakes his head, smiling back.
“Whatever, you two are looney. See you soon, yeah?” We nod and watch as he walks away. Amber turns to me and, after a second, bursts out laughing.
“Yeah, let’s go,” she says, dragging me out of the house and into my truck.
I watch the scenery zoom by as she drives. The ride is quiet, comfortably so. I think about the party and how nice it is to have someone like Amber in my life. But like all good things that come to an end, my mind drifts to more inappropriate thoughts. Like Benjamin. His eyes, the dimple on the left side of his face that appears when he grins, the curve of his body as he dives into the pool on a summer afternoon. My hands begin to shake, just slightly. I tuck them under my thighs, hoping Amber doesn’t notice.
When we get to my house, where her car is parked, she leans me against her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, and we head inside. Mom, Dad, Felix, and Benjamin are in the den watching a cartoon, which isn’t unusual for the Archer household’s family movie nights. Mom and Dad sit cuddled on the long couch, and Felix and Benjamin sit together on the recliner, just like they always do. Amber is talking to my mom, but I’m not paying attention to what they’re saying.
All I see is Felix’s hand resting flat on Benjamin’s stomach, and the most uncomfortable part is that neither of them seems to notice. It’s just so normal for them to be this close. What would it feel like? To rest my hand there, on his warm skin? What would he smell like?
I remind myself that it’s not for me to know.
My eyes lift to meet Benjamin’s. He’s studying me, that much I can tell, and suddenly I’m anxious, wondering if he can read my thoughts just from my expression. Can he tell that I want to touch him? That I’m dying to know what he smells like, what he tastes like?
Amber drags me upstairs, and I realize I haven’t comprehended a word of the conversation downstairs.
She sits me on my bed and helps me change into sweatpants and a T-shirt. I watch the way her hips move, the way her full breasts peek at me when she bends over and her tank top dips down. Shesmells like vanilla and comfort. This is what I get to know. To feel. And it feels good, it always has.
I reach for her, squeezing her hip as she stands between my legs, finally done changing me. She laughs and swats my hand.
“Alright, big guy. Go to bed, and if you need to puke, do it in this.” She points to the mini trash can I keep by my bed.
“Amber,” I murmur, my fingers grazing her side, moving up to her breast, over the swell of one all the way to the other. It feels nice under my heated fingers. I’m so pent up, and every time I’m alone, when I try to handle it myself, my mind can’t stay focused on who it needs to. I need her to stay with me. I place my other hand on her ass and give it a soft squeeze.
“Aaron, look at me.” I look up at her, my chin resting on her stomach as she runs a hand through my hair. “I know something is wrong. I won’t pry because I love you and I know if you want my advice, you’ll ask. But I’m not drunk fucking you just to make you feel better.” She leans down and places a kiss on my lips, running her tongue over mine so briefly that I wonder if I imagined it. “But tomorrow, after the river, if you still want me,” she says, nodding and giving me a sultry smile. “I’ll let you touch me wherever you like.” With that, she turns and leaves the room.
I lay back on my bed, a hand resting over my now hard dick. Well, that’s a promise I’m willing to hold onto. Amber is always so considerate of my feelings, of our friendship before anything else. I believe that even if we never work out, we will always be friends. No matter how amazing, or numerous, the sex is. She’s just that cool.
I’ve spent a while watching a whale documentary on my TV when I hear Felix and Benjamin come upstairs. I’m surprised I’m still awake, but every time I close my eyes, everything spins and I see those fucking shorts and those toned thighs.
I hear their murmuring voices, not quite intelligible. Then I hear Felix’s door open and shut, and someone enters the bathroom. Staring at the door, my hands begin to shake again. I could go in and see if it's Benjamin or my brother. Play it off like I need to pee.
