Aaron lifts my chin to look into my eyes and continues.
“None of that. If I felt like this was something to worry about, I would have mentioned it. But I don’t and I’m not upset with you, okay?” I nod—even if I’m not fully convinced. “And you’re not always upsetting me. Where is that coming from?” I grab the body wash and lather a clean rag. Starting from the top, I begin to wash Aaron’s body. After a moment—I respond.
“I don’t know. Most of the time it’s an accident but occasionally it’s intentional. But sometimes I get nervous that just becauseIlike to be punished doesn’t mean you like to constantly deal with a bratty 22-year-old.” I feel vulnerable as hell. Most of the time he really does seem into it—but I hear Drew so frequently in my mind—telling me how weird non-vanilla sex is. What would people say about our relationship style? Is he secretly embarrassed? Is he not into it anymore and only staying here with me out of fear that I’d kill myself? Fuck.
Aaron grabs my face between his palms and forces me to look him in the eyes. I drop the hand that holds the rag to my side.
“Benjamin—you havebeen bratty since you were eight and I have still fallen in love with you over and over again. Ilikehaving a hot submissive boyfriend who likes to piss me off so I’ll push him around. It turns me on. Ilikeliving my day-to-day life making sure you’re being a good boy and keeping our home safe for you. I want to live like this until I die. So don’t be nervous. I’ve loved every moment of our time together as much as you have.”
I can’t tell if what he’s said has made me emotional or insanely horny—so I just stare at him.
“So—you’re not upset with me at all? And even when you are—you like it?” I ask him after a beat or two, fidgeting with the rag and nervously searching his eyes. They’re so full of love and amusement—so fucking vivid.
“Exactly. Even when you’re pissing me off, I get excited because I know what it means I get to do to you.” I shiver against him at those words—watching as a predatory grin creeps over his face. “You’re getting hard again, kitten.”
He’s backing me up into the warmth of the water—hands still holding my face. I rest mine on his sides as the rag falls to the tile floor, the blue bird soaring beneath my fingertips.
“I can’t help it when you talk to me like that.” I whine—every bit the spoiled little brat he’s turned me into.
“Aw, I know, baby. Want me to fix it?” He coos and I shiver once more—nodding quickly. “Hey—” he says as he gets on his knees under the water, grinning up at me. “Doesn’t this feel familiar?”
The tile—the hot water—him on his knees.Can I help you with this?Damn—six years ago already? I touch his cheek and give him a sweet smile.
“Benjamin at sixteen had no idea what to do with you—with this pleasure. Sometimes I still don’t. That’s how much I love you.” Aaron moans against my thigh as he drapes it over his shoulder.
“Benjamin at sixteen was fucking evil. Such a little temptress—always so cruel to me.” This makes me smile harder, thinking about how oblivious I was.
“Well, you puthis dick in your mouth and he literally never recovered. So forgive him—he was fighting his own demons.” Aaron chuckles, licking a flat strip up my thigh, right over my scar, his right hand reaching up to play with a nipple piercing.
“When I was watching you—” He continues, staring up at me again. “I remember I thought to myself—I can be good and walk away right now, live the rest of my life with this tortuous memory. Or go inside and make you come with my own two hands. I guess I doomed us right then and there listening to your little sighs and whimpers as you jerked off to the thought of me.” I flush red—running a hand into his wet hair—watching as he bites my thigh on the surface to not break skin.
“Well—if we’re doomed then I’m pretty chill with it.”
“Yeah? How was it?” I’m confused by his sudden question—there’s no proper context. “Being touched for the first time. Receiving pleasure—coming at the mercy of someone else’s hands.”
“Aaron—” I groan, leaning forward just a bit. “You talk so dirty.” He’s grinning wider now—like he’s achieved something.
“Tell me, baby.”
“God—it was intense and overwhelming. I didn’t want it to end.” He’s humming—licking at my hips—sucking at the skin between them. “You were saying things I’d never heard before, touching me in ways I’d never thought of.” I’m watching in real time as my words push him further and further to the ledge—to his breaking point. “Toying with me—getting jealous and possessive—and then coming right in front of me, telling me how good you felt. It was so fuckingerotic.” Aaron’s on his feet, backing me up against the wall. I shiver at the feel of the cold tile—the lack of water.
“Yeah? Was it that good?” He presses, pushing his hard erection into mine.
“Mm, yeah.” I touch his jaw with my fingertips. He’s looking at me like I’m something precious—like we’reback in that pool house again—like it’s only ever just been me and him. “After all—I was only sixteen. I’d never been touched before.”
“Aw, fuck.”
Aaron begins to pull me apart—licking every piece—eating me slowly. He’s taking his time as he devours me. His obsession with being the first one—I’m not sure if it started there in that pool house or if it lit the fire. But from that night on—I was his no matter how far I ran—how hard I tried to get away.
To be fair, I didn’t really try that hard. And thank God I didn’t. Nothing is more perfect than this. Any moment with him.
Chapter Forty Two
August 2023
Benjamin
The venue for Felix and Kayla’s wedding is simple and elegant. A spacious white chapel next to a large, renovated tin building that is now a reception hall with a dance floor. There are beautiful lilies everywhere—lining the pews, at the altar, at the entrance. They’re all over the reception hall as well. The color scheme is white, black, and tea green to accent the flowers.
