‘Invent a fake girlfriend, stop visiting your family then secretly plan to move to another country without telling her?’
All three of them stopped putting on their coats to give me a variation on a dirty look.
‘What?’ I said. ‘Am I wrong though?’
‘No but you are a lightweight,’ Joel muttered, bustling me out the door.
‘I know it’s not easy but it’s best to ignore her,’ Callum said, helping with the toggles on my coat as a brisk wind slapped me wide awake. ‘She’s all talk. By this evening, she’ll have forgotten all about it.’
I smiled, wanting to believe him, but as they strolled and I stumbled down the street towards the town hall, I couldn’t fight the feeling that we hadn’t escaped the wrath of Elsie McClay just yet.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The festive vibes of the Braewick town hall were immaculate. Everywhere I turned, there was something else to delight me, the tinsel-laden tree with its multicoloured lights, trays of homemade gingerbread Santas baked by the WI, the cobbled-together nativity scene with a Teletubby standing in for one of the wise men and two T-Rexes where the donkey should be. I loved it all so much.
It looked as though the entire town was here already. Mums and dads, grandmas and grandads, what felt like hundreds of little kids running around and even a decent number of teenagers which seemed especially impressive. Everyone was dressed up, hugging, kissing and slapping each other on the back. The Christmas spirit was alive and well as the four of us inched along a row of chairs near the back of the hall, the front six or so rows already full to bursting. Five minutes more and it would be standing room only.
‘Cal! Son! Over here!’
I craned my neck down the line to see Derek and Lizzie waving from across the hall.
‘We’ve saved you seats. What are you waiting for, Christmas?’
Derek’s shoulders shook with laughter at his own terrible dad joke.
‘Did you know they were coming?’ I asked and Callum shook his head.
‘They didn’t mention it,’ he said with a fake smile. ‘I am so sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’ I gave them a little wave and pulled Desi and Joel behind me. ‘No big deal.’
‘Mum, Dad,’ Callum said, kissing his mother on the cheek before taking the seat beside her. It was only when Lizzie and her husband sat back down I saw who was on Derek’s other side.
Shiv.
She didn’t stand, didn’t move to say hello to anyone, but Callum tensed up when he noticed her, awkwardly leaning across his parents to hold up a hand in greeting.
‘Hullo,’ I heard him say quietly. ‘Didn’t expect to see you here.’
‘Your dad suggested it,’ she replied, eyes trained straight ahead. ‘I didn’t have anything else to do since …’
Derek leaned over the back of his seat to address the rest of us.
‘Callum and Shiv used to throw a little Christmas Eve dinner party every year,’ he explained, his face overly animated. ‘Back when they were, you know.’
‘Derek, they’re starting.’ Lizzie tapped her husband on the shoulder and he turned back to face the front but not before giving me a crafty wink.
‘Ex-girlfriend?’ Desi asked under her breath.
‘Ex-girlfriend,’ I confirmed, equally as stealthy.
‘She’s hot. Does she like girls? Because I totally would.’
‘So selfless,’ Joel said, clutching her hand to his heart. ‘My generous, pansexual wife.’
‘Do you want to swap seats, Shiv, love?’ Derek asked loudly enough for us all to hear. ‘Sit next to our Cal and have a wee catch-up?’
‘Dad, it’s starting,’ Callum said, echoing his mother as his hand reached towards me. ‘Caroline doesn’t want to miss anything, can you shut up?’
