And what else might I make him want to do?
It didn’t matter. Nothing could ever come of this for myriad reasons. He was moving to Paris. I didn’t want a relationship. Shiv. Balmaclay. Vegan Swedish masseuse. I’d successfully avoided all distractions up until now, I wasn’t about to throw myself at this one and why was I sniffing his deodorant?
I caught sight of myself, stick in one hand, cap in the other, and reared back in horror, dropping them both in the sink. What was wrong with me? I pulled both pieces out and dabbed them dry. The goal was to convince Lizzie and Derek they didn’t want to see Caroline again, not to reliably inform Callum that I was a total weirdo.
‘Which is becoming a real problem,’ I told the Laura that looked back at me from the mirror. ‘Because you clearly are.’
The bedroom was quiet when I finally crept back in, freshly scrubbed and moisturised, my red tartan pyjamas buttoned all the way up to the neck, bra still on underneath. Uncomfortable, yes, but it wasn’t as though I was likely to get any sleep anyway. The underwiring dug into my ribs, somewhere between armour plating and a cilice. Callum was already in bed. Callum was wearing a pair of wire-framed glasses. Callum was holding a book.
‘Do you mind if I read for a bit?’ He lowered the frames halfway down his nose and I almost wept. ‘My body hasn’t adjusted to regular hours yet, it still thinks I should be in the kitchen until midnight.’
‘Starting a grease fire foam party?’ I replied, refusing to look at his slutty little glasses. How dare he? ‘Go for it. I’ll …’
He raised an eyebrow waiting for me to finish my sentence.
‘I was going to say check my phone but it’s still in pieces on your driveway.’
Placing my backpack on the chair next to the window, I saw an old, blue Adidas shoebox sitting on a shelf. It was open, the lid long missing from the looks of the tape holding the corners together, and inside were stacks and stacks of photographs. It was impossible to mistake the pretty blonde who featured in all the ones I could see.
I turned away to look out the window. The loch was just how I’d left it and the stars had returned to season the sky with light. All was calm, all was bright. And Callum still had a box full of photographs of his ex-girlfriend, Shiv and Cal through the ages.
‘How do you think it’s going so far?’ he asked.
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the book lying in his lap, face down, pages splayed, his attention on me. I tried a smile and just about managed.
‘I don’t think your parents are going to give me access to the shared family Google calendar any time soon.’
‘You should ask for it anyway, it might push my dad over the edge.’ Callum sat up, curling forward. ‘I’ve been thinking.’
‘Oh dear.’
‘I know,’ he flashed a grin that disappeared as quickly as it arrived. ‘How do you think they’d feel if they found out the truth?’
I ran a hand down the bookcase, pressed my feet into his carpet, just to make sure I was still solid, made of flesh and blood.
‘About Caroline or about you moving to Paris?
‘Either. Both.’
‘They’re your parents,’ I said. ‘How do you think they would feel?’
He reached for his toes, surprisingly and pleasingly flexible for a man his size.
‘I think they’d be confused and upset. And hurt.’
It was a fair assumption and something I did not want to deal with firsthand.
‘Do you think we can still pull it off?’ he asked.
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you suggesting the arrival of my crypto millionaire digital nomad adopted sister and her gay husband might raise some questions?’
Callum’s shoulders rose with a silent laugh.
‘There’s nothing to worry about,’ I said, trying to convince myself as much as him. ‘Desi and Joel will behave themselves. If we leave first thing on the twenty-
sixth, it’s only two more days. Maybe we can go somewhere tomorrow, stay out the way.’
Even though the McClays were far from my favourite people, the thought of them finding out the truth mademe itchy. Callum was right, they’d be furious but, worse than that, they’d be hurt, and for that, I knew he would punish himself beyond anything his parents could dream up.
