‘I’m thirty-one.’
‘You know what I mean,’ I said with a pointed glance. ‘If you really don’t want this place to be your future, you need to pull off the bandage and tell your parents once and for all. It’s got to be hard to commit yourself to something else if you’ve always got one foot back here.’
Something else or someoneelse, I thought, an image of Shiv drifting through my mind. A half-smile cracked his face and I felt a warm shiver run through me.
‘I know you’re not a psychiatrist but if you ever decided you wanted to go into therapy, I’ve a feeling you’d be good at it.’
‘Imagine it, you can do anything, be anything,’ I said, glowing with his praise. ‘Don’t overthink it, just tell me, what do you want?’
Callum’s head tilted down, rust-coloured waves falling in front of his darkening eyes.
‘I can think of one thing I want very much.’
His statement hung between us like the sweet resin scent of the tree.
I couldn’t move. The ridiculous sparkly haggis bauble swung from my fingertips and blood thudded in myears. Callum’s chest swelled with a deep breath in and he seemed to double in size in front of me. I looked up at him as he gazed down at me, his unruly hair glowing in the firelight that warmed his pale, pale skin. His lips parted and I felt myself mirror the movement, pulsing with anticipation.
Then I remembered something Derek had said. His ties to Balmaclay were too strong. No matter how he felt now, Callum would come home eventually. And Shiv would be waiting.You barely know the boy.He wasn’t wrong about that. Could he be right about the rest of it as well?
‘Laura—’
He took a step towards me and I instinctively took a step back, my foot landing in one of the empty ornament boxes and skidding out from underneath me. Arms windmilling wildly, I flew forward, right into Callum’s open arms. He caught me easily, gathering me up around the waist and twirling me away before I could vault face first into the tree. My fingers curled around the fabric of his jumper as he held me to his strong chest, his heart thumping against my cheek. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his lips, so close to my face, slightly parted, pink and firm, and everything else blurred around me as he dragged his teeth over his bottom lip and tightened his grip around my waist.
‘Sorry, low blood sugar.’ I broke away and hurled myself across the room. ‘Probably dehydrated.’
‘Dark in here as well,’ he said, the words fighting to get out of his mouth faster. ‘You can’t see where you’re going.’
‘More lights,’ I agreed, practically panting. ‘We could definitely use more lights.’
Pressed up against the window, I watched him bend over, rooting around behind the tree for something. Respectfully, he had a fantastic arse. It was about the only part of him I hadn’t seen back in the flat and I couldn’t help but regret it. But thinking about his arse and our naked meet-not-so-cute was not going to stop the ringing currently sounding in my ears or dull the throbbing in the suddenly uncomfortably tight crotch region of my jeans.
Callum made a small triumphant sound and, at once, strings and strings of fairy lights he’d wound around the tree before I saw it came to life, lighting up his whole face.
The way he looked at me made my heart stop. Callum gazed at me the same way I was gazing at the tree, like I was something beautiful. Something to be admired.
‘What do you think?’ he asked.
‘I think it’s wonderful.’ My words came out weak as I concentrated on the tiny white twinkling lights instead of his rapt expression, the way they illuminated the iridescent baubles he’d chosen, the way they made the glittery ornaments sparkle. ‘You made it beautiful.’
‘It was already beautiful,’ he replied, shaking his head as if coming out from under a spell. ‘I think we can officially say this tree is decorated. First Christmas tradition officially re-established.’
‘It’s only a tradition if you do it more than once.’
Callum brushed a hand over the soft branches of the tree, pine needles trembling at his touch.
‘Are you offering to come back and do it again next year?’
It hadn’t taken long to build walls around my heart. I’d started so young, I could barely remember a timethey weren’t there, protecting me. But keeping them up, fortifying my defences, strengthening my resolve, that took time. Years.
I wasn’t about to let them down so easily.
‘If I do my job well, Caroline will not be welcome back,’ I said, all the way across the room. ‘That’s going to make it difficult for Laura to pop up for a visit.’
His smile flickered. Something I’d said registered in a way he didn’t like.
‘Thank you for all this,’ I added, gesturing at the tree, desperate to get back to the way things were five minutes earlier, when we were laughing so easily and I wasn’t imagining how his lips would feel on mine. ‘The tree and everything. It’s so thoughtful.’
‘It’s nothing,’ Callum replied. He ran his hands through his hair and I wondered if it would smell as sweet as the tree. ‘If you feel like getting out the house tomorrow, there’s a Christmas Eve carol service in town. They do it every year but I’ve never been, might be nice.’
