With a scowl that suggested our relationship was far from salvageable, Elsie let her younger brother shove her back down the passageway to the backdoor of The Clach, leaving Callum and me alone in the crowded bar. The light from the fire glinted in his burnishedbronze hair, the scruff on his chin almost sparkling, and the two old ladies sat at the next table went back to their sherries, looking deeply disappointed.
‘What happened?’ I asked, dazed and genuinely waiting for Elsie to come running back in with a crowbar.
‘I told them the truth,’ Callum replied simply. ‘Eventually. It would be more accurate to say, I shouted at Elsie, Dad shouted at me, Elsie shouted at Mum and after that no one said anything for a good long while because nobody shouts at my mother and gets away with it. Then we all went to church so Mum acted like nothing had happened, after that there was more shouting in the car, and now, we’re here.’
‘Sounds like good old-fashioned family fun,’ I said, processing the series of events. More or less weird than an emotional breakdown in M&S? I wasn’t sure. ‘Everything’s OK then?’
‘I wouldn’t go that far.’
Glancing down, I realized I was still clutching his hand in mine, and I gave it a squeeze.
‘We’re not going to fix twenty years of problems in one day,’ Callum said, looking and sounding tired. ‘What’s important is, everything is out in the open now. They know how I feel, I know how they feel, we all know how Elsie feels. Mum gets it, I think. Dad will come around or he won’t, that’s how it goes.’
‘I hope he does.’ I sidled in closer to him as someone pushed past me to get to the bar. The bar. I’d almost forgotten where we were. ‘While we’re clearing the air, I’ve got a couple of things to say if that’s all right?’
‘By all means.’
Callum waved a hand between us, gesturing for me to take the floor.
Even though our nervous system accomplished thousands of tasks every single second, supposedly, the prefrontal cortex only could process information at ten bits per second, one thought at a time. Right there and then, I was entirely certain mine was operating at less than optimal speed. Every time I blinked, it was like seeing him for the first time, and all my clever words and witty asides were long gone, over the hills and far away.
‘I shouldn’t have run out when you were trying to talk to me,’ I began, starting with something I knew to be true. ‘That was stupid and I’m sorry.’
‘And I shouldn’t have said you were just a random girl.’ He winced as though repeating the words caused him pain. ‘What I meant to say was, none of my behaviour was your fault. I didn’t want them blaming you and it just came out, I apologize.’
So we’d both messed up and we were both sorry. It was a decent start.
‘Wait, what did Rory mean when he said I’d saved you a long drive?’ I asked, the thought suddenly striking me.
Callum’s shoulders rolled up and forward, pinching together under his ears.
‘Och, you know Rory.’
‘Not really,’ I pointed out. ‘What was he talking about.’
‘He got it into his head that we should drive down to London after you,’ he said. ‘That was sort of the plan. Mum agreed to bring Dad to The Clach to get him out the way so we could leave without another row but Rory left his phone in Mum’s handbag because he’s an idiot.’
‘Why did your mum have Rory’s phone in the first place?’
‘Because he was watchingThe Simpsonsin church.’
‘Fair,’ I said. ‘Your mum approves of me then?’
He inclined his head but his smile was disapproving. ‘Which means you failed in your task, Caroline. No free rent for you.’
‘Shit, I was going to spend that money in the sales,’ I whispered before running my thumb over the back of his hand. ‘You were really going to drive all the way down to London? On Christmas Day?’
An answering nod.
‘And say what?’
‘Hadn’t quite worked that out yet,’ he admitted. ‘What were you planning to say to me?’
‘Ididknow,’ I told him, chewing the inside of my cheek. ‘But I seem to have forgotten.’
‘You ought to see a neurologist about your memory,’ he said and I glanced away, refusing to let him see me smile at his bad joke. ‘I know it was stupid to call you a random girl – and please don’t set Desi on me for this – but I still don’t fully understand why you were so angry that you had to leave like that. You’re the one who said last night was a one-time thing, just for fun.’
‘There’s a good chance I wasn’t thinking that clearly last night,’ I confessed. ‘I think, after a certain point, I would’ve said anything you wanted to hear. I thought it was what you wanted.’
