‘What is going on?’ Desi asked. ‘Did I hear my name?’
‘No,’ Elsie countered, inexplicably giddy. ‘I asked where Svetlana was and that’s not your name, is it?’
Even though I was sitting on the floor, I was sure I was about to fall over.
‘What are you talking about?’ Lizzie asked, stooping down to pick up a large chunk of what I hoped was mud.
‘Go on,’ Elsie prodded Shiv again. ‘Show them.’
When the blonde didn’t move quickly enough for her liking, Elsie snatched her phone out of her hand and displayed it for everyone to see, like she was showing off a prize on a game show. On the screen was a very familiar image. A screenshot from Desi’s Instagram. The three of us at her birthday party last year. The same photo on my phone’s lockscreen.
‘Me and Callum went to a wedding in London, a couple of years ago,’ Shiv said slowly, sounding like a toy with the batteries running out. ‘For his friend, Dave.’
Joel reached for the doorframe to steady himself. To her credit, Desi didn’t flinch.
‘I didn’t remember you,’ she said to me, her voice almost apologetic. ‘But I did meet her.’ She paused to nod at Desi then sniffed. ‘She was mean about my shoes.’
If I wasn’t sure before, I was sure now.
‘I don’t know what she’s talking about,’ Desi fronted, not prepared to give in so easily. ‘But so what if we met at a wedding? London isn’t that big a place, people do bump into each other sometimes.’
‘Yes, and some of those people happen to have public social media accounts with their sister-in-law tagged.’ Elsie handed her phone to her father as Shiv disappeared further inside her coat. ‘We found the groom’s Instagram and there you are. Desi Kaplan.’
‘Proves nothing,’ Desi said, despite the fact it more or less proved everything.
Elsie swiped through to a picture of Joel with his tie fastened around his forehead, vanilla frosting smeared all over his face, the camera flash bouncing off the backs of his eyes, giving him the demented look of a man possessed.
‘And, oh look, Joel Soto.’
‘Why is she saying it like that?’ he asked Desi, speaking out the side of his mouth. ‘I’m not the one who gave a stupid fake name.’
Finally, Elsie turned back to me, like the cat who ate the canary, yellow feathers practically hanging out her mouth. ‘Which means you must be Laura Pearce.’
I couldn’t move, my limbs were lead, and mortification dragged me down into myself. I wanted to run for the hills but I couldn’t. Possibly I would be able to make a small pillow fort with the sofa cushions and hide under a blanket but that was the absolute best-case scenario.
‘So we lied about our names, so what?’ Desi said, bravely soldiering on. ‘We’re weirdos, we make our own fun.’
‘Is that what you’re calling it?’ Elsie replied. ‘BecauseI saw your husband making his own fun with my brother last night.’
Desi’s cool exterior flickered.
‘Joel was playing Cluedo with Callum?’
‘Not quite. I came downstairs for a glass of water after everybody went to bed and they were all over each other in the kitchen. If I were you, I’d bleach the table, Mother.’
‘A scurrilous lie!’ Joel exclaimed.
‘That’s right,’ Rory agreed. ‘We were nowhere near the table.’
‘Oh, Joel, no!’ Desi exclaimed before pitching her last, futile attempt at maintaining the subterfuge. ‘My sweet, monogamous husband. How could you?’
Her eyes darted around the room to see if anyone was buying what she was selling. They weren’t.
‘Couldn’t even keep it in the bedroom, could you?’ she said with a resigned sigh. ‘Honestly, you’re a disgrace.’
‘Can someone please explain what’s happening?’ Lizzie said, raising her voice above the venomous chatter.
I met Callum’s gaze and my jaw clenched itself shut so tightly, I thought I heard my teeth crack. He looked gutted. Exactly how I’d felt when he asked what I was talking about two minutes earlier.
