"I mean, fighting, baby..."
She shakes her head at me, cutting me off. "I don't want to fight, please." Her voice is so low and quiet.
I kiss her until her body relaxes into mine. "I don't mean I want you to fight, baby, I want to teach you how to fight so you can defend yourself. I won't always be around, and I want to know that you can protect yourself if you're alone. Okay?"
"Okay,” she whispers, her head dropping and her arms loosening from around my waist.
"What is it?" I ask, gripping her chin and tilting her head up toward mine.
"It's nothing. I just forget that I'm not always going to be here."
Fuck. Do I say something now or wait? She looks sad when she says it.
My eyes flick back and forth over hers, but I decide now is not the best time. I'll talk to her later, but right now I brought her in here to learn how to defend herself.
"Okay, baby, I'm just going to go over a few basic things with you first. I need you to stand in front of me with your back to me," I tell her.
She steps out of my grip, and taking one step forward, she turns her back to me. Fucking hell, the trust she has in me blows me away.
"I want to teach you what to do should someone grab your hair from behind. Before we do anything, I need you to remember that it's me in the room with you and nobody else. If it gets too much you tell me to stop, okay?"
"Okay," she says but doesn't look behind her.
I need to do this with her, for her, but I'm so worried she’s going to freak out when I touch her. I try and swallow, but my throat is once again dry, nerves settling in my stomach. I take once step forward and grip her hair. She doesn't flinch, even when I pull her head back slightly.
"Okay, baby?" I ask.
"Yes. What do I do?" she asks me, her voice so calm and relaxed.
I raise an eyebrow. Fucking hell. "Okay, raise both arms back over your head, grabbing my wrist, and then take two steps backward but slightly to the side. On the second step, turn your foot inward, toward me, along with your hips. As you do that, you need to dip your head and turn so you’re facing the opposite direction. As you face the opposite direction, I want you to stand tall, using your strength to bend my shoulder back. I'll dip forward and automatically let go, and that’s when you let go and run. Do you understand?" I ask her, after relaying the entire instruction to her.
She nods a little. "I think so. Can we run through the steps as you talk me through each one, please?" she asks.
"Of course," I tell her. And that’s what we do. I run her through the steps as I explain each move.
Chapter Forty-Six
We spent forty minutes going over the same three moves—they were all about me quickly getting the upper hand and then running. He never actually taught me how to fight. When he first said he wanted to teach me how to fight, I panicked, as it's not really my thing, especially given that’s what my uncle gets his kicks out of. But I was relieved when he explained it was to defend myself.
"Thank you," I say, as we sit on the mat in the middle of the gym. He gives me a small smile and reaches for me, pulling me closer to him. He grabs my legs and lifts them over the top of his, resting his large, tattooed hand over my thigh.
"You don't have to thank me, baby. I want you to be safe. We’ll do this every few days,” he tells me, his other hand running up my back and cupping the back of my neck.
"Okay,"I say, resting my hand on top of his. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah." He doesn't hesitate to respond.
I grab the water bottle he took out of the fridge in the corner of the room when he finished showing me how to defend myself and down a big gulp of it, quenching my thirst from the work out.
I reach up, grabbing his hand, and move it from my face. I run my fingers over his tattoo of the sunflowers and the dove. "This is beautiful," I tell him, glancing up at him, before my eyes fall back to the tattoo. I can feel him watching my movements as my fingers trace the outline of the flowers.
He's silent as he watches my fingers. He takes a few deeps breaths, before grabbing hold of my hand, stopping my movements. "My mum used to have a couple of pet doves, and her favourite flowers were sunflowers."I look up at his face, and there’s a hint of a smile. "She planted so many sunflowers in the back garden. When they started to grow, Dad used to joke that she was turning the garden into a jungle."
I watch the smile fall from his face, and his eyes turn a dull shade of grey. "Max?" Iquestion. "Are you okay?”
His eyes raise to mine and he nods. "Yeah, sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I query.
