Then I detect how Summer’s face softens, ever so slightly.The breeze sends strands of her brunette hair away from her cheek.Declan, she mouths and tips her head in question.
I nod.Still not breathing.Fighting the desire to call out her name and run to her.I hold back, because the last thing I want to do is disrupt this delicate balance.
She shakes her head slowly.And then a miracle happens.
Her shoulders drop in relief.Summer smiles.
She runs to me, and I exhale, throwing open my arms, ready to catch her.But when she reaches me, she stops, pushes me to the side of the gate entrance, and extends her palm to tell me to keep my distance.
“Wait.”She’s breathing hard.“I’m so sorry, Declan.”
“You never need to apologize to me.”
“Bullshit, flyboy.I do.In fact, we should both agree, right here and now, that it’s okay to ask for permissionandask for forgiveness, if it’s the right thing to do.Otherwise, this marriage of ours is going to be crap on a stick.”
“Well spoken.Poetic, even.Understood and agreed.So you’re not angry that I’m here?”
She snorts softly.“I knew you’d try.I just had no idea you’d be successful this fast.”
“You know I’m gifted.”
“You can fly a jet with your mind—I remember.”
I want to touch her.If I don’t touch her in the next ten seconds, I worry I’ll turn to dust and blow away.But she shakes her head.
“I need something from you first, Declan.”
“Anything.It’s yours.”
“Good.But this is something that doesn’t cost a dime or require a ride on a jet.Just answers to a couple simple questions.But I don’t want some bullshit whatever-makes-Summer-happy kind of Declan answers.Can you do that for me?”
“Yes, ma’am.No bullshit.Nothing that might accidentally make you happy.”
She levels her gaze at me, intense and direct.“Why do you want to be with me for the long haul?”
I start to answer, but she cuts me off.
“I know you want to fuck me ten ways to Sunday, but I meanotherlong-haul reasons.Like on a quiet night sometime in the future, when you’re settled back in your home, and you look around and suddenly notice that it’s too quiet.That there are no little Declans running around and there never will be.At some point, you’re going to feel the hole in your life.”
“Wait—”
“And feeling sorry for me or stubbornly hanging on to a vow you made to Beyoncé when you were blackout drunk in Vegas isn’t going to fill that hole.And on that quiet night in the future, the only thing that will give you comfort and prevent you from regretting your decision to stay with me—the only thing that will stop you from hating my freaking guts—is if you’re absolutely sure…that I’m worth it.”
Her eyes have gone steely.
All right.I take a breath.This is where the rubber meets the road.I need to answer correctly, and with the right words, or I’m a goner.It reminds me of that sneaky pop quiz my seventh-grade science teacher gave us.At the top of the paper it said in big, bold letters: READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE STARTING QUIZ.
Since I was too smart to need instructions, I whipped through the quiz, got every answer right, and got an “F.”Because the instructions said I didn’t need to take the test.
I was robbed.
“You understand what I’m saying, Declan?You have to dig real deep inside you and weigh it out.Am Iworth that much to you?”
“Is this where I’m allowed to talk?”
“Yes, because I’m hungry.”She crosses her arms under her breasts and rests her weight on one foot.“Are you going to answer?”
“I’m sorry, what was the question?Something about fucking you ten ways to Sunday?”
