As soon as I’m outside, I step off the walkway and into the grass.I gulp down the air and send up a prayer of gratitude for my freedom and the lessons I still have time to learn.I lean my hands on my knees until my heart slows and my breathing steadies.
I don’t know what my next step will be, and I don’t know where I should go, but at least I understand why I came here.It had to be done.I had to clear out the past pain to make room for any kind of future happiness.
I straighten.I feel scooped out inside.My lungs feel strangely open, like there’s suddenly more room in there.I may have just lost some of my stubborn self-assuredness, but it was a fair trade.
I’m free.
I look up at the sky.I breathe.Then I look around me.I have no idea what I should do next.
And then I feel everything vibrate, as if an electric current is swirling around me.
I turn toward the source.
There he is.
Declan’s hanging back near the parking lot gate, the sun setting behind him, watching me with stark violet eyes.
CHAPTER 65
Declan
Summer’s beauty is a force of nature.She shines like a miracle, a star against the dismal backdrop of downcast visitors, concrete walls, and concertina wire.
She doesn’t see me.She steps outside and puts a bit of distance between the building and herself before she leans her palms on her knees to catch her breath.
It takes everything I have not to run to her.
But she steps off the walkway into the grass.She adjusts the weight of her backpack and lifts her face to the sky.She closes her eyes.
And at just that instant, a cloud parts overhead, and a beam of California golden-hour light showers down on her.I watch her chest rise and fall, her nostrils flare with the intake of oxygen.
Summer is perfect.All perfect pieces assembled in exactly the right way.She’s perfectly complicated.Layer upon layer of discovery.She’s the one I’ve always wanted—theonlyone I’ve ever wanted.
When Summer lowers her face, she must sense my presence.She turns toward me and locks her eyes on mine.
She sees me.
I wait for a sign of what’s about to unfold.Seconds tick by.Her expression remains impassive, but no matter how this goes down, I’m immensely grateful to see that she’s alive and safe.
I’m afraid to draw breath.If I do, she might turn away from me.
Again.
My instinct is to shower her in another big gesture, lift her up in my arms and kiss her senseless.I think I know better.This isn’t the time for more of my over-the-top antics.It’s the time for patience, love, and support.
For listening to whatever it is she has to say to me.
Don’t push me aside, Summer.Please, baby, don’t throw it all away.
I ache from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.I’m sick with worry, feeling like my future is perched on the head of a pin in the middle of a raging windstorm.Whatever I see next on Summer’s face will tell me where I go from here, whether I get another shot or if it’s all about to come crashing down around me.
Should I see relief spread in her expression, I’ll be okay.I’ll never let her go.But if she’s angry about how I betrayed her wishes and tracked her down, then I’ll have no choice but to find a way to set her free.
How I’ll ever be able to do that, I have no fucking clue.
She squints, and her brows crinkle, and I almost scream out in defeat.But I quickly realize she’s only doubting her own eyes.I’m a surprise.She’s shocked.
I don’t trust time itself.The seconds move too slow and fly by too fast, all at once, and all beyond my control.I’m walking a tightrope without a fucking net.
