‘Yes,’ replied Jenny. ‘Eleanor Hansley, my beautiful baby.’ She released her own tears as they fell into each other’s arms. ‘I can’t believe I’ve found you,’ she whispered. ‘It’s been too long.’
ChapterThirty-Five
Holding hands, they looked at each other through blurry eyes. Elle took a deep breath. ‘But I don’t understand. Your name isn’t Cora Hansley. It’s Jenny – Jenny Hughes.’
Jenny’s eyes slid briefly from Elle’s. ‘My real name is Cora Hansley, but when I needed a fresh start, I changed it.’
‘Fresh start?’
‘Oh, Eleanor, I don’t know where to begin.’
It was strange hearing someone call her by her full name. It was one she never used; she’d always been known as Elle. She saw a shadow of disappointment pass across Jenny’s face, and blinked away fresh tears.
‘I let you down,’ said Jenny. ‘I let everyone down.’
‘Don’t say that. The past is the past – we can’t change it,’ Elle said warmly, knowing this must be as hard for Jenny as it was for her.
Jenny took a deep breath. ‘My name was Cora Jennifer Hansley. Jennifer is my middle name; Hansley is my maiden name.’
She took a deep breath.
‘Matt Harrison was my childhood sweetheart, the one I wrote about in my letter. He’s your father. He didn’t deserve the way I treated him. Our life was difficult – money was sparse and I was tired of working so many jobs, out until all hours of the evening. He was a lovely man – handsome too – but my life spiralled out of control after my parents died.’
‘The grief must have been overwhelming,’ Elle said softly.
Jenny nodded and dabbed at her tears.
‘Do you know what happened to Matt … my father?’
She shook her head regretfully.
‘No. I haven’t even gone looking for him. I’ve thought about him often over the years, but what would it achieve? We were besotted with each other once, but I’m married to George now and we have Wilson. No doubt Matt will be married with a beautiful family of his own. He deserves that. Some things are just better left in the past, but I’d like to apologise to him for the hurt I caused. That was unforgivable.’
As Jenny took a few steadying breaths, they watched a young mother walk by. She was pushing a pram and making cooing noises at a newborn baby. They both smiled at the excited toddler running alongside the pram, pointing towards the swings in the play area of the park.
‘I missed out on all that,’ Jenny said sadly. ‘Wemissed out on all that,’ she corrected. ‘You smiled at me, you know. I know people would say you were too young to smile, but you did.’ Jenny broke down completely then, no longer able to maintain eye contact with Elle. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, over and over again, as she wept. She looked exhausted. ‘You have to know how difficult it all was.’
‘For years I didn’t know what to think. There were moments I hated you, then there were moments I hoped you would come looking for me.’
Jenny’s face crumpled in pain. ‘Oh, Eleanor,’ she said, touching her knee.
‘But now I understand and it’s okay, honestly it is. I know it was impossible for you at the time. Taking a baby onto the streets… I dread to think where I would have ended up – where both of us would have ended up.’
It was Jenny’s turn to listen, and she held Elle’s hands as she asked tentatively, ‘Did you have a happy childhood?’
Elle shook her head. ‘This is probably not what you expected to hear but I just existed from day to day. My earliest memory is at primary school.’ She swallowed a lump in her throat. The memory was so clear it felt like yesterday. ‘The class had baked biscuits for Mother’s Day – small heart biscuits that we’d decorated. The school invited our mums in for the afternoon, and I had to watch as everyone’s mothers started to file into the classroom. Everyone’s except mine. They all looked so happy, praising their children for making such wonderful biscuits. No one came for me. The memories of that foster family are so vague,’ she said. She scrunched her eyes in an effort to remember, but there was nothing.
‘I’m so sorry. I really am. My heart ached for you every birthday, every Christmas, every Mother’s Day. Don’t ever think it didn’t,’ Jenny murmured.
‘I always felt like I never fitted in. I felt alone. I was moved from family to family and it wasn’t until I met Irene that my life began to have some meaning.’
‘I thought Irene was your biological mum. I just had no idea. Why would I?’ Jenny’s gaze met Elle’s. ‘No one in the village ever mentioned it.’
‘No one would realise. When the library opened on Love Heart Lane, we came as a pair and that’s when we were introduced to the community. I’ve only recently told Pippa – when I started the search for you.’
‘Irene is one in a million.’
‘She is,’ replied Elle, holding back more tears.
