There has to be something wrong with me. Some reason he doesn’t want to have sex with me. Maybe it’s Peanut. I thought Titus was okay with my situation, but being with a woman pregnant by another man is a lot to swallow. Maybe he’s fine cuddling with me and getting each other off, but any more than that is too intimate.
My skin is hot, face on fire as I run downstairs, trying to put as much distance between us as I can. I’m so fucking stupid. So fucking incapable of seeing anything I don’t want to see.
And all I wanted to see was Titus Bradshaw falling for me.
“Mariah.” His voice carries down the stairs, making me move faster.
I reach the main floor and stall out, because where in the hell do I go now? I’m barefoot, so it’s not like I can run out the front door. It’s so cold my skin will stick to the concrete. I’m not going to lock myself in the bathroom. Then I’ll be trapped.
I can only think of one option, and even it’s not a great one. But it’s all I’ve got.
I go for the garage, flinging open the door and hustling out into the chilly air. Aiming for the side-by-side, I curl my toes against the chilly epoxy beneath my feet.
“Mariah.” This time Titus’s voice is sharp enough to make me jump.
And close enough to make me turn.
He’s standing in the open doorway, watching me with an unreadable expression, chest heaving with each breath he takes.
I should have known I couldn’t outrun the guy who spends an hour on the treadmill each night. Yet another foolish mistake to add to my tally.
I adjust my trajectory, hoping to hide my true motives for being in the garage by going to my SUV. I open the door, reaching in to grab the only thing that might spare me the humiliation of admitting I was about to take off in the UTV wearing nothing but my pajamas. Because in addition to being stupid, I must also still think running from the problems my stupidity causes is the best solution.
Popping the lid off my car ChapStick, I smear it across my lips as I bump the door closed with one hip and stride past Titus back into the house.
Not being able to simply leave when things get tricky has put me in unfamiliar territory, and I’m not sure what to do next. But I need to stay busy—distracted from how I feel—or I’ll say something I’ll regret, so I go to the kitchen and fill the kettle to make myselfsome tea.
Titus follows right behind me, his green eyes sticking to me like glue. I switch the kettle on and go for the fridge, but Titus steps right in my way, his gaze narrowed as it takes me in.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I lift my chin, plastering on the smile I’ve perfected over the years. “I’m fine.”
His left brow angles. “That’s your fake smile.”
My mouth opens to argue, but my words stall out and all I manage is to sputter, “Fake smile?”
Titus nods slowly. “You have a real smile and you have a fake smile.” He points at my face. “That was the fake one.” Stepping closer, he lowers his voice, tone gentling. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” It’s such an automatic response I don’t even have to consciously think about saying it. It’s always just been easier to be fine. To deal with my upsets on my own and find a way to move forward.
I expect Titus to take me at my word. Everyone else always has. My mother was too focused on her own unhappiness to care about mine. My father certainly never gave a shit. Friends and boyfriends were more of the same. To the point I learned I was the only person my feelings mattered to.
But Titus doesn’t back down. He comes closer, the pointedness of his gaze keeping me in place as he cages me in, his hands resting against the counter at each side of my hips. “That lie might work on other people, but it won’t work on me.”
Well…
Shit.
I feel a little attacked. Put on the spot and pushed into an uncomfortable position by his unwillingness to be like everyone else and let me suffer in silence.
I also feel exposed. Vulnerable.
Afraid.
Because if Titus sees the uglier parts of me—the ones that aren’t easy and agreeable—Peanut will be the least of the reasons he doesn’t want me like I want him.
I spin away so he can’t see my face, still trying to escape even though there’s nowhere I can really go. I just need a minute to get it together. Then I can convince him everything is?—
