For two days, I keep myself from opening the door just a little too early. Lingering in the hall just a little too long. At this point, I don’t know if it’s fear or stubbornness keeping me from giving her what she wants.
Probably a little of both.
By the third day, the stubbornness is wearing thin, and I’m going stir crazy in a way I never have before. I used to sit in my house without leaving for weeks at a time. Even then, I only left to go to my parents’, or one of my brothers' places. I never wanted to put myself in a position where a stranger could stare at me.
And while Mariah's not a stranger, she will stare at me.
I make it all the way to dinner on the third night before I have an epiphany. An idea that might give us both a little of what we want.
After finishing every morsel on my tray, I stack the dishes, leaving an open area that won’t be missed. Laying the note I spent way too long agonizing over in that space, I slide the tray into the hall then stand behind the door, knowing full well I won’t hear her when she comes.
But I’ll sense it.
When Mariah finally comes, I close my eyes, straining for any noise or scent that might sneak around the door. But fuck Tucker and his overachieving nature, because not even a whisper of a sound reaches my ears.
Is this what withdrawal feels like? Because I’mfucking suffering. All I can do is hope that what I can give her is enough. That maybe somehow Mariah will understand I’m not hiding away because I don’t want to be around her.
I’m hiding, because Ido.
More than anything, I want to see her again in the flesh. And there’s too many reasons that would be a terrible fucking idea.
Including the fact that I’m pretty confident she’s pregnant.
DINNER TRAY PEN PALS
Mariah,
Dinner was great-as always.
Sorry I stole yourbaitcake.
Titus
Titus,
I’m glad you liked it.
I’d be happy to make you morebaitcake, but you’ll have to come getit yourself.
Mariah
Mariah,
It’s probably better you’re withholdingbaitcake. I’m already eating way too much as it is. I’ve had to start running two extra miles a night to make up for it.
Titus
Titus,
If you’d like, I can make lighter foods so you won’t be forced to exert yourself. It would be terrible if you had a heart attack up there considering I’d have no way to rescue you.
Mariah
Mariah,
How old do you think I am?
Titus
