Odelm’s concerned face stared down at me.
“You missed lunch. I checked with Xylo, and he said you were here studying.”
I scooped up the tablet and reached out my other hand to Odelm. He stared down at it a moment, then grabbed it to help me to my feet. I dusted myself off, then looked over at him.
“Why were you checking on me?”
He looked away.
“We had made plans for me to teach you how to swim. When you did not arrive for lunch, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Twice now you skipped lunch and our lesson. It makes me wonder if you are still interested in learning how to swim.” He sighed. “And I still do not agree with Xylo leaving you to roam on your own. You are his nestqueen and pregnant, he should be by your side to protect you and attend to your needs...”
Sensing Odelm launching into his favorite refrain—criticism of Xylo—I rolled my eyes and walked away. I was sick and tired of hearing it. I was neither Circuli nor an invalid, and I did not want Xylo putting his life on hold to wait on me hand and foot. Nor had I been doing anything dangerous. I was studying. What harm could possibly come from that? The most dangerous thing I’d done to date was swimming—and that was with Odelm to watch over me.
Though to be honest, I’d asked him to teach me more to foster a friendship than because I felt it necessary.
Whether he realized it or not, Odelm was trying to control me—the restrictive hovering chafed. Maybe it was instinct he was hard-pressed to control, but I was human—even as altered as I was—and didn’t need to be coddled by others. I didn’t want to give up even a small measure of freedom again.
Something smooth and slightly rubbery wrapped around my wrist, halting my progress. I stopped but tugged to free it from Odelm’s grip.
“Selena. Please.”
I turned around and stared him down. “What?”
“Tell me what I did wrong,” Odelm begged.
“Stop judging Xylo. It’s not your concern, nor do you have all the facts. His research is important to my health and that of my offspring. And while he’s busy, I’m doing my part toprepare for our arrival at CEG HQ. I’m not going to go in there blind, depending on others to fight my battles for me.”
“Is that what you were doing when I arrived? Studying?” he asked, eyeing the tablet in my hand.
“Yes.”
I tugged more forcefully at my wrist, and he looked down in surprise he still held it. He released my wrist, sliding it back around his torso in embarrassment. I decided to offer an olive branch.
“Look, Odelm. I’m sorry for not contacting you about canceling our swimming lesson. I should’ve been more thoughtful. I’d had a spur-of-the-moment idea over breakfast and got excited, but I should’ve contacted you before I dove into my research. I really do want to learn how to swim, and I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“I forgive you. I know you have a lot going on at the moment. Can we forget it and go get you something to eat? I have a performance soon and would like you there to hear it. You can even study at the café.”
I smiled at him, glad we had cleared the air, and he wasn’t upset with me about forgetting our plans. “I’d enjoy that.”
Odelm escorted me to the café and kept me company for my late lunch. Nursing a drink, he quizzed me about my research and how my pregnancy was progressing. I enjoyed our conversation. As I finished the last of my meal, I decided to just ask him the question that had been burning in my mind since I’d learned about his past. Surely, we had become friends, and he’d forgive my nosiness.
“Odelm, can I ask you something?”
He turned from the wristband he’d been studying to look up at me. “What is it?”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. Feel free to tell me it’s none of my business—I know it’s both personal and sensitive—but I’ve not been able to figure it out. Whywere you released from your courting bond? What did you do that it was severed?” I whispered, trying to gauge his reaction.
He shut his eyes and took a shuddering breath. Grabbing his drink, he opened his eyes and gazed into the swirling liquid before taking a sip.
“I am sure you have noticed both Xylo and I look different from everyone else aboard ship?”
After a few seconds, I realized he was waiting for my reply. Hurriedly, I answered, “Yes, but I don’t see how that’s a problem? You’re both beautiful. Plus, anyone who’d judge your worth solely on your looks is a fool.”
He grimaced and said with a snort, “Well, Xylo is lucky to have you as his nestqueen because others do not agree.” He turned and met my eyes, his own brimming with sadness and hurt. “Her name does not matter anymore. She was the wealthy daughter of a shop my fathers did business with often. She thought I was a prize to be had and offered to take me as her nestmate after one of my performances. I agreed—what male in my situation would not?” He paused and took another deep breath. “I took the offer though I did not know her well. As a musician with a decided lack of looks, I had known chances were slim I would ever be part of a nestqueen’s clan. This was an unlooked-for opportunity, and I seized on it. And it would provide my fathers with a permanent connection to her clan.
“Things seemed fine. I did what every male would do to win over their nestqueen—following her, doing her bidding, caring for her. I only performed when I was not needed. After one of my performances, she came to me. She stated she was having doubts about our court bond. Other nestqueens were judging her. They said I was too pretty to be male, and since I played music, I was not masculine enough to have as a nestmate. She said she would overlook theircriticisms and accept my bonding spore, only if I quit performing. If I only played music for her—in private.”
My heart bled for him as I tried not to let the tears overflow. He had been treated abominably and given how traumatic a severed courting bond appeared to be, I could understand now why Odelm seemed to be angry at females in general. I reached across the table to cover his hand with my own.
