“But I want to.”
11
Ixik’tryl - Axel
The flight home was silent, as I took a leisurely flight path to the villa, not wanting to repeat Ami’s reaction.
If we were at my family’s house, where there was a full staff—including a medic, chef, and housekeeper—I would have dared to take a chance and flew along the ocean’s waves at high speeds, so she could enjoy feeling its mists on her skin and filling the night air with laughter.
I was curious as to what happened during her conversation with Sah-Rah to cause her sudden change in demeanor, and wanted to do everything that I could to cheer her up.
During the time that I was having a conversation with Carth’aiq and surveying the work that the excavation crew was doing, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Ami who was standing in the distance across the open field. It took everything I had to keep delegating and doing my job when all I wanted to do was fly to her side.
As soon as we were finished, Ami appeared distant, and she barely spoke unless someone directly addressed her.
The woman who, over the course of our time together, I had come to love and become familiar with was nowhere to be found.
Had Sah-Rah said something to Ami that made her angry with me? And what could I possibly do to fix everything and restore her usual radiance?
I slowly tilted my wings and began a lazy spiral down to the villa below, taking care not to make any sudden movements as I attempted to keep our descent as gentle as possible in the oceanic winds.
As we approached the wraparound balcony, I leaned back and flapped my wings hard to ensure a safe landing. My talons wrapped around the railing, securing us in place as I folded my wings and leapt onto the balcony.
I opened the door to the gathering room and rushed to one of the nesting couches, not wanting to spend any more time outside in the wind. I hoped that by providing her with a soft spot, she would be able to relax and catch her breath once she unbuckled herself from my saddle.
As soon as I turned my back on the furniture, I felt her come to life, as her hands unclasped each strap, and she lowered herself onto the soft couch.
“Are you going to tell me what happened during your conversation with Sah-Rah?” I mimicked her actions by removing the saddle from my body and gently tossing it onto a nearby chair. “And what happened to the female with whom I’ve been cohabitating?”
“She was fine.” Ami huffed, crossing her arms and staring out at the ocean. “With how energetic she talked, she reminds me of those girls who spend all of their time at a coffee shop, or maybe even as a princess character at one of those theme parks. She could probably turn a funeral into a fiesta with how overbearing and upbeat she was—which is a perfectly fine characteristic to have, but too much, too sudden.” She rolled her eyes as she looked over her shoulder at me. “But after spending all of these nice quiet days with you, it was a shock for me and something I needed to adjust to.”
“You’re trying to keep something from me.” I took a step closer, opening my wings and placing my hands on the glass to keep her from fleeing before she could respond, but leaving enough space between us for her not to feel trapped. “Tell me what Sah-Rah said that caused you to become so distant. Did she tell you something about me that caused you to act this way?”
“Why did you ask her to come here?” she whispered, her voice so low that I would have missed what she said if it hadn’t been for my sensitive hearing. “How come you had her ask me if I wanted to leave? Do you regret promising me everything, including an education and a place to live?”
“Never,” I squeaked, slamming my hands on the window, furious at myself for being such a dimstar. “I wanted to give you the option of leaving if you truly did not want to accompany me wherever I went. I wanted to make sure you didn’t feel trapped, and that you weren’t only agreeing because you hoped it would ensure your survival, rather than because you wanted to.
“I figured if you spoke to a female of your own species, you would feel comfortable enough to open up to her and accept her help, if you wanted it. I had no intention of making you feel unwanted or desired.
“I want nothing more than to continue what we had, as if nothing happened today, but I’m afraid I’ve ruined everything we’ve built together over the last few weeks.”
Silence engulfed us, but I was afraid to move because if I did, we would never be able to mend whatever rift had been sliced between us.
“I understand why you did what you did, but I can’t help but feel raw from the whole thing.”
She turned around and looked up at me, tears dripping from her eyes—something I learned from Sah-Rah happened when humans were angry, hurt, or upset. Concern washed over me not only because she was crying, but also because I had no idea what kind of crying she was doing.
“What can I do to repair the damage I didn’t intend to cause?” I begged, locking my eyes with her rich brown ones as I pressed myself closer to her, to feel her warmth radiate from her body as I covered hers with mine. “What is upsetting you?”
“What do you see in our future?”
My hearts began beating rapidly as my mind raced, trying to figure out what she was referring to and what answer she was looking for.
In another time and place, I would have tried to flirt with her, wanting to do what humans do to those they like and kiss those lush lips of hers. It didn’t matter that she didn’t have wings or a beak, or that she had flat, five-toed feet that lined up in front, leaving her heels bare.
She was beautiful to me despite our differences.
Something was preventing me from testing the air, discussing my species’ mating practices, and asking her if she wanted to unite with me for all eternity.
