I plumped up the cushions on the sofa and straightened the blankets Rose and Harriet would bury themselves in, then caught sight of the pile of magazine strewn around the back of a chair. I suspected Rose, especially when I saw that they were Psychology Today, so I piled them up, in date order with the most recent on top.
The first time I’d kissed Rose had been at a party on a dare. She’d said she’d already kissed someone, perpetuating a lie for the sake of her friends, and not wanted to feel like she was the only one who hadn’t been kissed. It’d been her first kiss and for some reason, it’d made me insanely happy.
That had been when it’d started. Not just my friend anymore. Not just Rose who I walked home from school with. Not just a kid who knew the house where I lived.
I sat down on the sofa, two seats away from where Rose usually curled up and pulled one of the blankets over me. Itsmelled of Rose’s body cream, sweet and fruity. I thought it would’ve made me tense because of what was happening right now, but it had the opposite effect. It was calming, and strangely not calming at the same time.
I had made an almighty cock-up suggesting marrying Laurie. If Rose had just told me she was marrying someone else as a favour, I wouldn’t have reacted in the same way as she had done. I’d have set his house on fire by now.
The problem was, I hadn’t said anything to her to make her realise that was how I felt. Probably because it’d taken me too long to realise.
The door clicked open, and the airwaves were disturbed. I looked over to the door into the lounge area and waited for her to come in.
Her hair was wild when she entered, blown around by the wind and dampened, so it must’ve been raining.
“I know. I look like I’ve been living in a cave on the Yorkshire moors.” She ran her fingers through her hair, dark red and thick. She’d taught me how to plait it once, sitting in front of me and demonstrating with her hands behind her head. I’d practiced, not because I’d wanted to learn to plait a girl’s hair, but because I was obsessed with it. That was the summer of Clapham Common.
“You look like you.”
“I’m not sure how to take that.”
“However, you think you should.”
She didn’t smile at me, just paused what she was doing and glared. “Sometimes you talk in riddles. Sometimes I don’t understand where you’re coming from.”
“I can give you some context if you’re referring to Laurie.”
“I am. Let me make a cup of tea first.”
We didn’t speak as she boiled the kettle. She didn’t comment on the cup I’d left out, the tea bag already in it. This was akin to the point in an operation that success hinged on, that crucial second where it would either work smoothly or not.
She came back over to the sofa and sat in her usual spot, putting the mug of tea on the coffee table and pulling a blanket over her.
“Thank you for emptying the dishwasher.” It sounded like an apology.
“I wanted to keep busy.”
She nodded, observing me and making no secret of it.
“Carter, why did you offer to marry Laurie?”
“I’m not sure I want to tell you.”
“I’m sure I want to know because I need to understand why. In my head you were in love with her and hoping that she’d fall for you, because isn’t that what always happens when there’s a fake marriage.”
“Only in books.”
“So enlighten me.”
I didn’t stop looking at her. I wanted to soak her in, looking like this, serious and curious and giving me a chance to talk me out of the mess I’d got us in.
“You were single. I knew I’d have the chance coming up to come back to London and for the first time we were both adults and single and I was wondering if something might happen. We were talking loads on the phone and messaging, and I was wondering what if.” I paused, wanting to see if she remembered.
She picked up her mug and sipped her tea, not focusing on me for a moment.
“I wasn’t sure what you were going to decide,” she said, putting the tea back down, half drunk. “I knew talking to you wasdifferent and you’d stopped talking about dates you’d been on or seeing anyone. You mentioned Laurie.”
“But never as a date or a girlfriend. Do you remember talking about meeting someone called Theo?” I knew she would.
