“How did it feel?”
“Like I wanted it to.” He lifted a hand to my hair and pulled at a curl lightly. “The same as it did when we were on Clapham Common.”
“We never talked about that. We pretended it didn’t happen.”
“I know. I wasn’t going to be around London much and I didn’t want us to end up in a long distance relationship – that wouldn’t have been fair on either of us.”
His words shocked me. “Was that what you thought would’ve happened?”
“I didn’t know if that was what you wanted. I was surprised you let me kiss you that day. I didn’t think you saw me like that.” For once, he looked awkward and unsure.
“I don’t think I had until then – saw you like that. But,” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter now does it. What do you mean, you’re single but not available?”
“Can I tell you next week? I’m not trying to be secretive, it’s just I need to tell someone first I’m telling you, and telling you here isn’t a good idea.” He sounded almost angry. “I need us to be just friends for a bit and then see where we are.”
Sirens echoed in the distance, a cheer from inside muffled by the glass. I didn’t feel as discombobulated as I should’ve done.
“I think I need us to be friends for a bit too. I need to get my head around you being back and that we are both single at the same time.” I reached for his shirt again. “Why did you choose to come back.”
He stepped away. “I’m going to head home.”
“Carter, why did you come back?”
“Because of you.”
Of course, I didn’t sleep. I didn’t speak to Harriet that night about what happened mainly because I didn’t want to, but also because I slipped away from the party, briefly letting Erin know and texting Fallon and Harriet that I’d gotten home safe.
I curled up in bed with my latest book, but didn’t read any of it, wrapping myself around a hot water bottle and replaying every word and pause of the night.
He’d come back for me. That was what I wanted to hear. But there was something he wasn’t telling me – which I’d known already. A favour for a friend that I would’ve persuaded him not to do. Or maybe not. I didn’t have the full details.
But I did have details of how he kissed now, as a man and not a teenaged boy, and those details were living in my head rent free for the foreseeable.
I imagined if we’d have been here when we’d kissed, and what would’ve happened then? I imagined the same thing happening in another few months’ time, if some things had changed, and I didn’t need a hot water bottle anymore.
My imagination was interrupted by my phone vibrating.
A text from Carter.
I hope you got home safe. I promise I’ll tell you more, but can we still be friends? X
I read it twice, stared at the kiss, cursed him for interrupting.
Yes. We can always be friends, even if it can’t be more X
CHAPTER 7
Carter
“I’d have picked you up from the airport.” I wheeled Laurie’s case down the hallway towards the stairs, surprised at how light it was.
“No need. I’m capable of getting a taxi and you’ve done enough. I’d kill for a glass of wine though. I have no idea what time it is so if it’s ten in the morning, don’t judge me.” She hung her coat up and headed to the fridge, taking out the bottle of Chablis I’d put in there to chill.
I pulled out a single wine glass and passed it to her. It was just after midday and twelve hours after I’d downed my fifth whisky. I’d needed something after leaving Erin’s party last night, and whisky had been the only thing available. “I’m on call till midnight,” I said as she looked at me questioning. “So it’s all yours.”
“Good move. The journey was rough. I’m thinking if I tell my family how rough it was, they might decide not to come to the wedding.” She poured the wine almost to the top and then leaned over to slurp it.
“I think you’re being hopeful there.” I sat down at the table, the same seat Harriet had been in when she’d come round.
