“I doubt this kitchen has ever seen anything like that before. But I’m not sure the cabinets are strong enough for what I want to do to you on them.” His eyes were heavy with lust, lust that was all for me. “The sofa would be though.”
“I shouldn’t.” I wanted to. I wanted to rid the day of what’d happened, create a different memory for today. “But I want to.”
Cas took hold of my arm and guided me out of the kitchen. “You have a baby monitor on in the bedroom that you brought with you. We can hear if they wake up. Let me distract you some more.”
He was too persuasive, or maybe I was too easily persuaded. “Just kissing.”
“Is that what you said when you were sixteen?”
“I’ve said it plenty of times since then too.” I grinned, knowing I hadn’t stuck to any of them.
He sat down on the sofa, gently pulling me down next to him and the kissing restarted, reminding me of being younger, when all of the exploring went on and you weren’t really sure of what came next, only neither of us were that innocent any more.
I ran my hands under his T-shirt, feeling the tone of his muscles there, dragging my nails over the dusting of hair that led down to the waistband of his shorts, my wrist grazing his cock through the material which made him gasp into my mouth.
Cas explored too, his hands under my top, tentatively cupping my breasts through my bra, his mouth travelling to my neck and we were both lying on the sofa, him over me.
Then he slipped lower, his tongue trailing over my stomach, soft kisses placed on skin that hadn’t been touch for so, so long. I’d showered when we’d arrived here, needing to freshen up and I was glad now I had, his hands tugging on the waistband of my leggings.
“Can I?”
“I think I’ll combust if you don’t.” I was remembering how much I’d missed sex, missed having someone else to bring me to orgasm.
He tugged the leggings and my underwear off me, pulling a blanket partially over us, and then his mouth was between my legs, tasting me tentatively and then he began to demonstrate skills I’d forgotten could exist.
His wife must’ve been delirious to give this up, but I wasn’t enough of a fool to think that good sex was the foundation for a good marriage.
I was aware of where we were, that the girls could come downstairs at any point, although we would hear them first on the monitor. Still, it meant this could be over at any point, andthe thought of having to stop before I’d reached that climax was enough to focus me.
Cas looked up at me, toying my clit with his tongue, one hand on my thigh, playing with a finger at my entrance with the other. He pushed a digit in, then a second, the stretch better than any toy hidden under my bed. Curved fingers, probably borne of experiences I didn’t want to think about, had me starting to see stars, my vision blurring and then everything convulsed, my body racked with a delicious orgasm, the world turning inside out for a few precious moments.
I was catching my breath and trying to not laugh at the smugness on Cassian’s face when the baby monitor came into life.
“Mummy? Mummy?”
“Heidi.” I sat up, guilt filling me for a variety of reasons, including leaving Cassian in a state that looked painful. “I need to go – I’m sorry.”
He grinned, handing me my underwear. “There’ll be other times. Go check Heidi.” He passed me my leggings, no longer inside out from when he’d stripped them off.
I pulled them on as I was running, feeling part like a terrible parent for not standing vigil over the girls, and partly in rapture that I’d just recovered something of myself from before I’d had Heidi and lost Joel.
“I’m here.” I said the words quietly in case Mia was still asleep.
She wasn’t. The pair of them were sat up in bed, sheets and blankets round them. They looked tiny, younger in this half-light.
I sat on the bed, squidging in between them. “Everything’s okay. I was getting a drink downstairs.” So was Cassian, but that was something no one else would ever know. “What’s woke you?” I hoped it was just unfamiliar sounds.
“The moon woke me.” Heidi pointed at the window. The curtains were drawn but they were old and thin, and the full moon was shining right through. “And I forgot where we were.”
“Heidi woke me up,” Mia said, looking like a sleepy mouse. “But I like the moon. It means the man in the moon’s awake.”
I smiled, remembering a story I’d told them both on one of the many occasions I’d looked after Mia overnight and she’d had a sleepover with Heidi. “There’s always someone awake. The man in the moon and the owl we hear at home. The old man of the sea never sleeps, unless it’s a really calm day.”
“And Mavis. Mavis is always awake. She told us she was always watching so she must never sleep.” Mia looked ever so serious.
One day she’d know just how much Mavis did sleep, but even so, there still wasn’t much that Mavis missed. “So if you wake up, you know you’re not alone. And there are cities that don’t sleep, like New York in America.”
“I want to go to New York,” Heidi said, not at all sleepy now. “And France and Spain and Grannie’s.”
