“You’re right. I’m just sorry for all the upset it’s caused. Like a whole town meeting – that’s probably only the fifth time it’s happened in five years. Everyone’s now panicking about security and that’s only going to be worse after tonight.” I followed him into the kitchen which I’d briefly seen before but hadn’t taken in.
“Liv was right with what she said. I know people are used to leaving their doors unlocked round here, but the town is growing and more people with crappy intentions will be here as well. But it isn’t your fault, or Mia’s. I think Cara has a lot to answer for. Her life choices have put her daughter at risk.”
He sounded cross now as he ladled the stew into a bowl that looked like it might’ve been bought around the same time as when the house was last renovated.
I didn’t want to talk about Cara and what she should or shouldn’t have done. There was a lot to unpick and it wasn’t my job to do it. Mia was mine to look after now, for however long that was. I hoped for her sake that her mother was safe and unharmed, and that she would be able to see her daughter again, although none of that was guaranteed. From what Liv’d said, it sounded as if Cara was running drugs or storing them at the very least.
“This kitchen really is terrible, isn’t it?” I looked around it, being reminded of my great-grandmother’s house which was a relic of the nineteen sixties.
“It’s horrendous. I’m going to help the builders rip it out myself. It’ll bring me a lot of joy.” He eyed up the units with determined obliteration.
I managed a smile. “Thank you for helping to look after us.” I knew I was perfectly capable by myself, but it was easier when someone helped.
“Even if it wasn’t you, I’d still help a parent of a pupil.”
The half-light from the too low watt kitchen light caught the plains of his face, making him look devilishly handsome.
He grinned, his eyes glinting. “Can I guess you’re glad I’m helping you rather than the previous headteacher.”
I chose innocence. “I’m not sure. You’re available, he’s not. I’m sure he’d have been perfectly capable of helping us out, although he may have been more inclined to sleep through the whole thing.”
“I think he slept through a lot.” Cassian paced towards me, his eyes dark, almost black. “If you want some time to yourself I can find somewhere else to stay.”
I shook my head, not even needing to think. “I bet you wish you hadn’t come to Puffin Bay.”
“Not at all.” He brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m used to drama, this is just different drama. I would like the drama of taking you out on a date though.”
That elicited a smile and I felt my cheeks blush, which they did easily. “Let’s aim for Friday. The girls are definitely staying with Deryn, unless anything happens to change that.”
“Sounds good.” His hands were resting lightly on my shoulders, but he looked up at the wood-coated ceiling. “I’m still kicking myself for not saying yes when you first asked.”
“Move on from that. I get why and I was relieved anyway. This is way out of my comfort zone still and I think the only reason I’m not having a panic attack over being closer to a man in years like I am now is because so much other stuff is going on.” A silver lining could always be scraped from something.
“This stuff, as you so eloquently put it, is making me like you even more.” His focus was back on me, his hands dropping down my back.
I felt my body temperature rise, an ache beginning between my legs that wasn’t going to be satisfied tonight. “I don’t usually come with all this drama.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute. I’ve met your daughter.”
“Fair point, but she’s more like Joel than me.”
He shook his head slowly. “I don’t know if she’s like her dad or not, but she’s very like you. She’s brave and kind and without any judgement. She’s been Mia’s little bodyguard at school this week, and she’s gone up another reading level, so you should be very proud of her. She is like you.”
I didn’t think too hard about it, throwing my arms around his neck and pushing my body closer to him so I was able to find his lips with mine, beginning a kiss that had no right to happen given what today had brought.
He kissed me back, slowing it down, taking control even though it was subtle. I let myself be held, soaking in the physical contact like I’d been starved of it for too long.
When was the last time I’d been held like this? Kissed like this? Before Joel died which now seemed a very long time ago.
I didn’t feel the guilt I’d half anticipated. I didn’t feel beholden to the ghost I’d created in my head. Instead I felt wanted as something other than a mother; I remembered what it was like to have part of me back.
The kiss had deepened; it had taken on its own life and I wished I could abandon the caution of being a parent whose child and ward had experienced a traumatic evening. It was the only thing that stopped me from climbing him like a tree and rubbing my centre against him.
I slowed it down to a stop, and I knew from his face how I looked when we broke apart; a wild, wanton woman who really didn’t want this to stop.
“I think we might scar the kitchen if we carry on.”
He laughed, still holding me, his shorts not doing anything to conceal what was happening in them and I did stare.
