So far, I thought she was pretty sweet, and many years ago I would’ve dropped that line, only it was as cheesy as fuck and I wasn’t thinking of Romy as someone I wanted to chat up.
“So she’s staying with you. Are you okay with that?” Kids were hard work. Romy was a single parent with a career, having another kid in the house that she had to look after was no small undertaking.
“I’m fine with that. If it goes on longer than a few weeks, there’s a spare bedroom I can clear out and Mia can have her own space. They’re loving having bunk beds at the moment, but that’ll only last so long.” Her face shadowed.
“I’m sure people will help you get that sorted.” It was a skill of a head teacher, or senior school leader to have a go at being soothing without committing to help out. I felt bad for using that now.
Romy shrugged. “It’s where Joel’s – Heidi’s dad – things are. The silly things I couldn’t throw away. His mum’s been trying to get me to get rid of it for years and because I’ve not needed the room for anything, I’ve left it.”
“That’s going to be tough.” What else could I say?
“Not as much as it should be. The important stuff that was his is already through the house, photos of him, an award he got, things like that. This is his clothes and other things that I should’ve thrown away.” She looked out of the window where the girls were still playing. “I accepted years ago he wasn’t coming back and I miss him – I miss having someone to share things with, and some days I’m angry that he’s not here because our lives would’ve been so much different if he’d lived. I’ve just never gotten round to clearing out that room.”
“Will his mum help?”
“With pleasure. She keeps trying to set me up with dates.” A knock at the door stopped whatever she was going to say next.“That’s probably Liv, which is good timing. You can hear what she’s got to say straight from her.”
“Useful,” I said, not sure if I was glad of the interruption or not, but I was sure I was going to have to work out why I wouldn’t be glad of it later.
SEVEN
Romy
Icould blame the wine for the flush on my chest and on my cheeks when Liv asked me about it later, only she was a detective and she knew me too well by now.
She was also a good enough detective that she didn’t look surprised at the very handsome man – which I thought should have capital letters – at my kitchen table.
Maybe it was an escape from what was actually going on for real in my life, but I’d found myself having short daydreams about Cassian Caddick throughout the day, when I should’ve been all consumed with the worry that was going on around Mia.
It was just a daydream, something fictional and exciting in a never going to happen kind of way to stop myself from being eaten up with Cara’s disappearance and nothing more, but if I said I didn’t have a crush on Cas, I’d be lying.
I had eyes for a start.
And a pulse, even though it’d been buried in a well of grief.
Liv came in through the front door and headed straight out the back into the garden to see the girls. She was immediatelyattacked by Heidi, who considered Liv to be a human jungle gym, which was entirely Liv’s fault as she’d encouraged Heidi to climb all over her since Heidi could crawl.
Mia stood there, watching the circus with an expression that was half longing and half fear. She’d been quieter still since we’d gotten home, none of the things we’d wanted in our hands. She missed her stuffed toys, the dog and cat particularly, and she’d mentioned she wanted her swimming costume because I’d said we could go swimming at the weekend with Heidi’s grandma. I was hoping the bags that Liv had dropped on the hallway floor were full of her things.
“She doesn’t look police-like,” Cassian said, frowning at Liv as she swung Heidi round in a circle. “Think she’d rather work in a school?”
“I think she likes arresting people too much. Look at Mia.”
Mia had frozen still, her eyes fixed on Liv and Heidi, her tiny frame standing too still.
“Do you want a turn, Mia?” Liv pretty much dumped my daughter on the floor, which was fine. Heidi was giggling, in a position that looked like a collapsed forward roll.
Mia shook her head, backing away.
Liv didn’t have her uniform on; she was long past that given she was now a detective sergeant rather than a normal copper, so it wasn’t the uniform that seemed to be freaking Mia out, but something was.
I headed outside, Cassian no longer figuring on my radar.
“Mia, what’s - ”
Mia unfroze and cannonballed towards me. I caught her and picked her up, the weight of her more like a just four-year-old rather than a child who’d turn six in another month. She buried her head on my shoulder and I felt tears dampen my skin.
Maybe this was the explosion from a build-up of things that had upturned her little life in the last few days. Maybe it was just the effect that Liv had on small kids that weren’t Heidi.
