“What’s up, baby?” I cuddled her to me, pressing a kiss against her messy hair.
She didn’t answer, just holding me tighter. Heidi looked worried. Liv looked guilty. Cassian looked concerned.
There were possibly too many people here, too many eyes watching, so I carried her inside and up the stairs to the bedroom she was sharing with Heidi, sitting down on the beanbag in there with her still in my now aching arms.
“Mia, can you tell me what’s wrong?” I put some space between us so I could see her. She wasn’t crying anymore, but her eyes were closed, as if she was pretending she couldn’t see anything so she couldn’t be seen. A cat’s trick.
“Mia, I - ”
“I miss my mummy. I’m glad she’s not here though.” It was mumbled, I could just about make out what her words were.
“Why are you glad she’s not here?”
“Because the man isn’t here when she’s not.”
Oh lordy. This could be a whole can of worms that we were about to open. “Who’s the man, Mia? Can you remember anything about him?”
“He was Mummy’s friend. He brought her sweets.”
By sweets I could figure out that she meant drugs. I wasn’t surprised. “Did the man ever do anything to you?”
“Mummy locked me in my bedroom when he was there and told me to be very quiet so I didn’t bother him.” She still had her eyes closed.
“Did you ever see what he looked like?” My heart was thudding like horses hooves in a race.
“He was tall and had straw hair and he had a line here.” She pointed to her chin. “Mummy called him Logan.”
I stroked her back, hoping it had the same effect on her as it did on Heidi. “Did he ever touch you?”
She shook her head a lot. “He stared at me if he saw me and he did this.” She used scissor fingers to point at her eyes and then at me. “One of the stupid boys does it at school and I don’t like it.”
“I don’t either.” Because it was a threat.I’m watching you. That was what he was telling her.
There was a knock at the door, one that was probably badly timed because Mia’s silence filled the room.
Liv came in with Heidi, both of them looking sheepish. “Heidi wanted to make sure Mia was okay.”
My daughter, unflappable as ever, squashed herself onto the bean bag next to Mia and showed her a daisy bracelet that was tied around her wrist. “Do you want to make friendship bracelets?”
I inwardly cursed. Heidi making friendship bracelets meant that my vacuum would be spitting bits out for the next week, but it meant they’d be inside and safe and Mia would be occupied with something fun, at least Heidi found it fun.
Mia nodded, loosening her grip on me.
“Mummy, can we have a milkshake while we’re making friendship bracelets? I want to make one for Liv.” That was Heidi, forever pushing for whatever she could get.
My girl would go far.
“I’ll make you both a milkshake.” And I’d have another glass of wine, maybe consider ordering a takeout because cooking adult food wasn’t going to be a high priority tonight. Not a great way to start a week that’d been filled with good intentions, but tomorrow was a new day and all that jazz.
Liv followed me downstairs, carrying a cloud of thoughtfulness with her. I wasn’t sure whether her shift had ended or she was pulling a long day; it’d been a long time sincewe’d had a good catch up and I kind of felt that tonight would be a good time to rectify that.
I needed an adult to work through whatever it was that was happening, and there was a choice of two in my house. My good friend and the man I had a crush on.
“What’s going on with Mia apart from her mother’s missing and she’s been abandoned?” Liv didn’t mince her words as she sat at the kitchen table.
Cassian was still there, his glass almost empty. “Is Mia okay?”
“Mia’s not okay.” I sighed, a painfully long expulsion of air that hollowed out my lungs. Maybe I needed to do some meditation or yoga, something mindful.
