“Yes. Every time I’ve seen you holding our baby I think my ovaries have exploded and it felt like the Sahara was having a small downpour, but I needed to feel like things would still work.” I kissed him back, my response softer than his, containing a promise. Some days I hadn’t had any libido at all, understanding that oxytocin was produced when I was breastfeeding, so my body got a hit from that and wasn’t telling me it wanted sex, but I wanted sex. I wanted my body to belong to me again, I wanted closeness with this man.
When I pulled away, I noticed the tent was back.
“Are you worried if it’ll feel weird?” His hands were under my hoodie on my waist, touching my skin and making it feel electrified.
“Yes. I’ve got lube. Just to make sure.” I hoped he wouldn’t feel offended.
But this was Jude and he didn’t do offended. “I want whatever it takes to make you feel good.”
I shifted my legs over him, straddling his thighs, the steady breathing of our baby the only sound coming from the monitor. “Let’s make the most of this.”
“On it. I don’t want to rush though.”
“Me neither. But let’s take what we can.” My words were interspersed with kisses, our hands already busy at work on each other’s clothes. His sweater was lost, my hoodie was somewhere on the floor with my T-shirt, my rather unattractive maternity bra still on, although Jude’s hands had found their way to my breasts.
I sighed, the touch a relief.
“You still like them?”
His eyes were glassy with lust. “Fuck, yes. I love how they’re feeding our girl, but, Jesus, Neva, they’re killing me.”
We explored them, finding out what felt good and what felt weird, rediscovering my body and how it was different, laughing over the inevitable breast milk, moving over to the rug in front on the fire when we lost our bottoms.
I found the lube in my bag that I’d left downstairs, planning this somewhat, and applied it to Jude’s cock and my entrance, even though I felt wet already.
His hand slid between my legs, toying with my clit, circling his fingers over it at a pace that was usually guaranteed to have my pussy clenching.
“My boobs might leak when I, you know – get there.” I could feel everything building.
He was studying my body like it was a masterpiece. I had stretchmarks and my belly had a post baby bump that was deflating nicely, and I’d be forever grateful that it had grown Maia, but it wasn’t the body Jude was used to.
It didn’t seem to be an issue for him.
“You look so fucking gorgeous. I think I’m going to explode as soon as I get inside you. Fuck, Neva, you’re like this goddess.” His eyes were drowsy with desire and I wasn’t hating it.
Suddenly he looked alert. “Are we going to end up making baby number two here?”
“We’re good. I’m covered.” I’d gone through all that yesterday, at least I thought I had. I was about to come, and my body was ready for this.
He pressed a little harder on my clit and my whole body convulsed, the inevitable happening with milk and nipples.
Jude leaned down and licked at them, which we were both finding strangely okay and not weird.
“Do you think you’re ready for me?” He put a finger to my entrance, pushing in slightly. “I don’t know if you want to hear this but you feel great and I think I could come from just doing this.”
“It feels good.” Almost too good. Like normal. “I think we should just try it.”
“Sure?”
I nodded, his hand leaving between my legs and rubbing up and down the length of his cock that glistened with the lube and pre-cum.
My body prickled with anticipation, wanting that feeling of being filled, and, at the same time, being the centre of Jude’s world, even if it was just for these few precious minutes.
He entered me carefully, almost too slowly. When he was fully seated he paused, the look of utter control on his face stunning.
“Is this okay?”
“It feels amazing. Please move.” Because if he didn’t start moving, I’d find a way to make him do it.
