It was a Saturday today, and Halloween, which meant I was about as dressed up as the previous ten years – in other words, not at all. I knew that when Maia was older, we’d be having or going to Halloween parties, which would painful enough to require some very good red wine that Amber would certainly share with me.
It had been the first match I’d taken Maia to, so she could watch her daddy kick a ball around for ninety minutes. She had, as expected, slept through it, and was passed around the arms of whoever was in the box with us, so I could enjoy watching the father of my child impressively filling his shorts.
Jude hadn’t scored, but he got two assists and we’d won, so everyone, including Maia, was in a good mood tonight.
I was in a very good mood. Tonight was a big night.
I’d had an appointment with my midwife yesterday that had been routine, or so I’d told Jude. It had been the appointment when I got the go ahead to have sex again with the advice of lots of lube.
I knew things were working down there as I’d given myself a couple of sneaky orgasms, checking a few things were still where I expected them to be and worked as I wanted, especially after pushing a human out of my vagina. I’d been happily surprised, especially after reading a few horror stories about how things hadn’t gone so well, so I intended to make the most of this in case there was another baby in my future and things didn’t go the same way. I also knew Jude was fucking his fist in the shower after he caught sight of my boobs, and he’d struggled to get to sleep a couple of times because of the boner he was sporting. I missed his cock, and I wanted to make use of it regularly in the hope that we weren’t just about making a baby.
“Maia’s asleep.” I snuggled in next to him. “We’ve got about four hours before her next feed.” I was managing to still breastfeed and topping up with a formula I’d found that I really liked, and luckily so did Maia. She took a bottle as well as she did my boob, which made life a lot easier and we were easing her onto more bottle – it was a slow process though.
Jude made things easier too. For the couple of nights before a match, I’d be up with her during the night, same for the night of the game as well. The other nights, he picked up the feeds or if she cried, so I was getting some sleep. His parents had stayed a night every week too, giving us a night off which they loved and we did too, especially because she was still at home – I wasn’t ready to leave her with someone else yet.
He wrapped an arm around me and pressed a long kiss to my hair. “What do you want to do?”
I considered it for a moment. I could hint and risk him not picking up on what I was hinting for, or I could be forthright about it.
“You know that appointment I had yesterday?”
He nodded.
“I got the all clear.”
He squinted, as if trying to work out what I meant. “All clear – ohthe all clear.” He swallowed and dropped his eyes to my breasts. “But do you want to, you know? I know you’re tired and you know - ”
“Jude, are you able to form sentences or - ” my eyes dropped to his crotch. “Oh. That’s why nothing’s making sense.”
His sweatpants were now a tent for dolls.
“I think hearing you say ‘the all clear’ was almost as good as when you told me you were pregnant. Are you sure?” His eyes were back on my boobs.
“Sure, and very, very interested in using this time wisely. How about in front of the fire? I don’t want to wake her up if we go upstairs.” As I spoke a little whimper came from the baby monitor.
We both peered at the screen. Maia was still sleeping, but that little noise was a sign she was waking up and wanting attention.
Neither of us moved. We were directly underneath her room, and there was absolutely no chance of her hearing anything or sensing our movements from here, but that didn’t matter.
My libido had woken up and I was cuddled next to a man who’d never failed to make my heart and other areas flutter. I had a tube of lube in my bag just to make sure, but judging by the heat in my underwear, I didn’t think I was going to need it.
I just needed my gorgeous daughter to stay asleep for another three-quarters of an hour.
No other sound came from the baby monitor. I saw her little hand clench and relax, and her lips purse and ease.
“Are we bad parents if we do this?” I looked at Jude, the tent in his pants had reduced.
He shook his head. “It gets the feel good hormones going. She’ll sense we’re more relaxed.”
“You weren’t going to agree we were bad parents, were you?”
He shook his head. “No. No, Neva. You’ve said the words I’ve been waiting to hear, or some of the words anyway.”
“What do you mean?” I was slightly confused and a little bit nervous, because I had a feeling I knew what he was referring to.
Jude put a finger under my chin and tipped it up, his mouth crashing down onto mine. We’d kissed, managed a few steamy kisses that had had led to a swift blow job or two for him. He’d wanted to return the favour, but I’d still felt weird about how everything was down there, like I needed to get to know it again myself.
“Do you still want me?” His words contained a vulnerability I didn’t think I’d heard before.
