“I know. I could’ve gone to university, studied sport science which I was interested in, but I wanted to play. We get paid nowhere near as much as what male footballers do, but that didn’t matter. I loved the game. I still do.” Her chin lifted, and I saw the passion in her eyes as she spoke about it. “So I understand what you mean. But you’ve never not avoided the media.”
“Until you. Jade was keen to be seen as much as possible. The press got a bit of a taste for that, but it wasn’t me driving it. You know, we’ve been seeing each other since August, and it’s now the end of October. We’ve done well to have kept it quiet for this long.” It was true, we had been lucky. The press hadn’t picked up on anything, even after the photo of me and Dee in Scotland where we’d been grinning at each other like idiots.
She nodded. “I know. I was being insecure.”
“You don’t need to be. I think you’re fucking amazing.” I took a huge breath and tried to swallow down the lump that had invaded my throat. “That’s why I love you.”
For a moment she was frozen. Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly. I braced myself to be let down, especially after this morning. Was I pissed at the conclusion she’d jumped to? Yeah. Was it going to matter in the long run? Was it – fuck...
“You love me?”
I nodded. “I’m really hoping that’s a good thing. Please tell me it’s a good thing.”
She nodded, lips back to being parted. “It’s a good thing.” Her arms went around my neck and she hugged herself closer to me.
We were the only people in the pool, and the hotel staff had the mind to give us space after this morning, although I half wished there was someone to take a photo right now so I could keep a piece of this.
“Thank god for that.” I didn’t need her to say the words back until she was ready, I just needed her to know how I felt and to be good with that. For it to make her happy.
She laughed, her forehead pressing against my chest. “I feel the same.”
When she did look up at me, her eyes glazed with tears, although later she would say it was because of the chlorine in the pool, I saw something I’d never had before.
And I knew I wasn’t going to let it go.
CHAPTER18
Dee
I still felt guilty.When I spoke to Genny about my reaction to finding out about the photos of us in the media and accusing Rowan of setting it up, she hadn’t bollocked me like I expected she would. Instead she’d got it, doing her usual psychoanalysis of my life so far and making it all make sense, which was probably a work of genius.
What she didn’t analyse was her slapping Gus Babin around the face. Not a word was mentioned by her about that, and when I brought it up, it was as if I hadn’t spoken.
Rowan was now spending more nights at mine than not. He would occasionally pick up Toby from school, which pretty much made Toby’s week, and sometimes look after him so I could go out to meet friends or my agent. More sponsorships had come in, partly because of my relationship with Rowan, which was definitely out in the open now. A couple more photos of us had been taken, one when we were at the training ground for an open session which fans could watch, and both squads were there.
Rowan and I ended up in a battle as to who could keep the ball from each other for longer, with him – then me – resorting to tactics that no referee would ever allow. We did play up for the crowd, and our teammates who were doing everything they could to egg us on to compete against each other. It was fun, and the bits that were posted on social media afterwards were the positive side of it. I savoured the nice comments, and didn’t read the ones that weren’t as kind. I didn’t have time for them in my life.
I heard nothing from Joanne until I got home from training one day, a shorter session than usual as we had a game the day after and as I wasn’t carrying any injuries, I hadn’t needed any extra physio or strength sessions. Toby was at school, where he was thriving, the routine and his little support network making up for his mum not being around. He still asked about her, but it was rare now, and only when something happened to remind him of her.
Joanne was in my kitchen, looking through my cupboards. I stood in the doorway, knowing she hadn’t realised I was home, probably because it was earlier than I’d normally be back.
“Fuck me!” She jumped when she saw me, dropping a box of truffles on the floor. “Why are you home?”
“Because I live here. Why are you here because you definitely don’t live here.” Anger I didn’t want to feel bubbled to the surface. Joanne looked well. She wasn’t skinny and her skin was clear, which made part of me want to scream with relief. The other part wanted to maim her.
She folded her arms. “I thought I’d drop by to see Toby.”
“He’s at school. Keys.” I held my hand out.
“What do you mean? Keys?”
“I want my keys. You don’t live here anymore. The apartment is still in your name and you can stay there, like I said. But you don’t have any right to come in here without my permission.” I kept my hand outstretched.
She folded her arms, the truffles still on the floor. “But I’m your sister.”
“The sister who fucked off to London and left me to pick up the pieces with her son. The sister who’s not so much sent me a message to let me know she hadn’t been murdered.” I rarely swore, which Joanne knew. The look on her face told me she knew how pissed off I was.
“You called social services on me.”
