“I don’t have a body that social media loves…”
“But I love it. And social media’s a bag of shite.”
“You don’t get any credibility by being seen with me…”
“And let’s stop there, because what’s in the papers today totally proves that fucking wrong.”
“Not trendy credibility, like dating Jade.”
I let that big inhale of breath go.
“Really? Because I ended it with Jade. All of what you said that you think I want is exactly the opposite. I fucking love being with you. I love how normal it is, how we laugh, how we compete, how you get my job and how much I love the game. I have nothing to gain by getting photos of us put in the press.” I pushed my fingers through my hair, feeling more frustrated than ever. I had never told anyone other than my mam and my sister that I loved them, but I was pretty sure I wanted to say those words to Dee, I just wasn’t sure how she’d take them.
She stared at the crumpled duvet beneath her. “I believe you.”
“Good. But I’m pissed that you thought I’d do it in the first place.” I got off the bed and chucked my clothes from the floor in my overnight bag. “I’m going to use the pool. Come if you want.”
I expected Dee to stay where she was, but I should’ve realised she never quite did what I expected her to. She grabbed her costume and headed into the wet room. Five minutes later, she was back in the bedroom, a one-piece covering the key parts of her body, and exposing enough skin to make my eyes stick to her.
“What if we’re photographed again? It was definitely someone who works here.” She tied her hair up into a knot on the top of her head.
There was a knock on the door before I could answer. I glanced at her, wondered if she had any idea who it was.
Dee shrugged.
I opened the door to find one of the managers there, looking concerned. I’d expected this at some point.
“I’m Caroline Lees, one of the managers. Do you have five minutes?”
Twenty minutes later and I was in the rooftop pool, looking out over the skyline of Manchester, feeling the best I’d done since waking up this morning.
Dee was next to me, stretched out in the water, watching white clouds cross the usual grey sky.
Things still weren’t right between us. It felt like she was purposely trying not to touch me and avoiding any kind of contact between us. I had the sense not to push it, getting that she needed space to cope with how she’d felt and what I’d said. I just hoped to fuck she wasn’t going to end it.
We’d had an apology – a grovelling one – from the hotel. They’d been alerted to the pictures this morning by their marketing director. It was bad publicity for them, given that they sold themselves to high profile clients as being discreet and private. The photos had been taken by our waiter, a bit of a kid who was a student in the city. He’d been brought into the manager’s office first thing and had admitted it straight away, confessing that he owed money, and this had been a quick way to get it.
He’d been fired on the spot, and as much as part of me wanted to check he was okay, the bigger part of me was just fucked off that our privacy had been invaded, so I wasn’t about to run after him and offer to pay off his debts.
We now had a free stay at the hotel when we wanted it, and various other perks thrown in, but none of that was going to change what had been said between us this morning.
I sunk under the water, the pool heated and covered to protect it from the Manchester weather. I was in unknown territory with Dee here. The wrong word and she would end it. She was risk averse and I was definitely a risk.
Fuck it. I came out of the water and decided to go all in. Cards on the table. If she didn’t like the hand I shared, at least she’d have had full sight of the information.
“I don’t want us to break up.”
She nodded, but she didn’t look at me. “Even though I jumped to a pretty horrid conclusion?”
“Even though you did. But I get why. The reason we got to know each other was because I was trying to do damage control on my image. Being seen with you doesn’t exactly hurt.” No point bullshitting.
“I get that. It’s tit for tat, Ro, because my agent’s already messaged me this morning to say that another sportswear company is interested in a collab. That will be because of the photos today.” She finally looked at me. “And Genny messaged me to say how good we looked in the pics.”
I nodded, smiling because I couldn’t help it. “They could’ve been a lot worse.”
“I know. I’m just not used to being someone’s side piece. When I’ve been in the media it’s because I’ve been scoring goals or playing well. I’m a sportsperson and not a celebrity.” Her hand went to my shoulder, the first touch between us since this morning.
“When I was a kid, I just wanted to play football. I wasn’t bad at school, and I got decent grades because I was pretty smart, but I wasn’t interested in anything but playing football. I learned how to be stronger and fitter, practiced tackling and dribbling, looked at strategies when we played other teams and listened to the coaches. I never wanted to be famous for being a footballer. That kind of just happened because of what happened on the field.” I knew she’d get it, but I still wanted to say it anyway. “It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d played for a lower league and got paid a basic salary, I just wanted to play.”
