“It's not all about money, you know.” Dee shook her head.
I knew it wasn't. It couldn't be. I knew players in the men's league played just for the money, and didn't have any passion for the game. For them it was a job where they could earn as much as possible to take care of themselves and their family’s future and didn't have anything to do with the love of the game. For most of the players in the women's league it was a short-lived career, and one that didn't pay anywhere near as much as the men's, unless they were with one of the big clubs and were able to pull in sponsorships. There were a couple of women's players who's profiles had increased because they were in relationships with other professional sportsman. It was wrong, we all knew that, but it was the way it was.
“Maybe not for you. But then you're a proprietor of perfection, aren't you?” I caught a glimpse of surprise that I knew such big words before she tried to hide it.
“Not in the slightest. I just have standards.”
I could see her eyes blazing with rage, Ryan almost completely oblivious to it. He was definitely preoccupied with something else.
He stood up, taking his phone out of his pocket. “I need to take this.” He answered the call as he walked away, his greeting purposely kept almost inaudible.
The atmosphere between myself and Dee thickened as soon as Ryan left. I knew she was looking for a reason to leave without seeming impolite, and I also knew that I wasn't going to make it easy for her to leave either.
“Why exactly do you hate me so much? Is it still to do with the girl in the club?” I remembered what she'd seen that night, and I could understand the conclusions that she jumped to. But they were conclusions.
Dee sat back on the sofa, holding her drink. “I just don't like the way you operate. I've seen people who take advantage just because they can because of the job they have.”
“Are you referring to my ex? The woman who insisted that we go to high profile places where she would arrange for someone from the media to be there? The woman who wanted to use my job to get more sponsorships and modelling deals? The woman who asked me to set up an expense account for her because she expected me to pay for the clothes so she looked like a footballer's girlfriend? The woman who when we split asked for a monthly allowance so she could carry on in a life thatshe'd become accustomed to? She even wanted us to give an interview together after we split. You might think I used my status to reel Jade in, but I'm pretty sure she didn't give a shit about me as a person; it was only what I could do for her. It was just a shame it took me so long to realise it.”
Dee was very quiet.
“Maybe you shouldn't form an opinion until you've heard both sides. Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel, but I'm not the fucking twat the media’s made me out to be.” I stood up, deciding it was going to be me who walked away this time.
Princess Particular could manage a few minutes on her own.
I didn't see Dee for the rest of the night, I figured she was avoiding me either because she was angry with me or herself, I'd probably never know. I grabbed something to eat with a couple of my teammates and hung around the bar for a couple of hours after. I didn't stay for the carnage that was going to happen. There were already shots at the table, mainly the younger guys who wouldn't have a hangover tomorrow. Once upon a time I’d have been joining them, living it large knowing that I could afford to pick up the bar tab at the end of the night and that I had the resilience to bounce back the following day. But at twenty-seven, I knew more of my career in football was behind me than what was left in front. Pre-season mattered, as did the opinion of my coaches, and even Neva the nutritionist.
Plus, I had enough sense to know that I needed to keep out of the spotlight for the next few weeks, and that included not being involved in any drama while we were away.
The lodge was quiet when I got back. Ryan had left before me after talking to a few of his new teammates, seemingly getting along with everybody. I'd already figured that he was a quiet guy, preferring to keep himself to himself, and that was fine by me. I didn't need a wing man at the moment, I just needed to keep on the right side of everyone and hope the drama that surrounded me over the summer faded away.
I had no idea when I got back to the lodge whether or not Dee was there already. No one else was up, the kettle was still warm so someone had recently made a hot drink, but that could have well been Ryan. I found a cup and the tea bags. I added in two to the cup because growing up in Newcastle taught me that the only way to have tea was strong, and not like gnat’s piss.
When it was done I sat down on the sofa and put my feet up on the coffee table, resting my head back against the cushion. Tonight felt like the end of one thing, probably the summer and the off-season, and the start of the next. For the next ten months my life would be dominated with training, games, media appearances, and my life would not feel entirely like my own. But that was what I got paid the big bucks for.
I closed my eyes, my hands wrapped around the hot mug of tea, and almost fell asleep. I would have done, if it wasn't for the slight noise of movement coming from Dee’s room.
Opening one eye when I heard her door open, I watched her slip out of her bedroom, her hair tied up on top of her head in some messy knot and wearing a dressing gown that was so short it could have been classified as a lethal weapon.
She had no idea that I was there, she hadn't noticed me sitting there and I was in two minds whether to let her know she wasn't on her own. I stayed quiet at first, being a total creeper from the sofa. I watched her flick the kettle on and take a tea bag from the pack that I had left out on the counter.
“The sugar’s in the cupboard.”
She jumped as soon as I spoke, grasping on to the kitchen counter as if she was about to fall over. I could have sworn she mouthed the wordfuck. She turned round and stared at me, looking at me as if I was some sort of alien creature.
“How long have you been sat there for?”
“Since I made a cup of tea. Just to be clear, I haven't been waiting for you. I didn't even know if you were in the lodge.”
Nor did I care, I wanted to add. But I wasn't entirely sure that was the truth.
“It's fine, I just thought I was on my own. Has Izzy come back?” she carried on making her drink.
“I haven't seen her. And I haven't heard her. But then I hadn't heard you until just now either. Any idea what we're doing tomorrow?” It was meant to be told to us tonight, either I'd been in a different room when it had been or someone had forgotten.
She poured the water into her mug and turned round, leaning back against the counter. All I could see was long, long toned legs, and for a second, I imagined them wrapped around me while I sat her on that counter and did things to her that would make her say my name in a completely different way to how she'd said it before.
“Orienteering. I found out from Neva. They are finalising the routes in the morning when they check what the weather is going to be like. I think we’re meant to meet in the restaurant at eight.” She turned back around and finished making her brew.
