That same pain wasn’t there anymore. This island wasn’t my prison. I had money in my bank and a future I could do what I wanted with. Whether it was time that had helped heal or Jameson, I wasn’t sure, but I could move on, because I chose to.
I stayed up there until the sky started to turn colours, from bright blue to the lighter blues of sunset and the golden hour. I watched as the sky turned black, pin pricks of stars cascading across it like a child had spilt glitter, and then I stood up and walked back to the car, my final goodbye here said.
Còctelsfeltquiet without the usual crowd of Lala and her friends being there. There were new people taking up the seats outside, a group of women on a girls’ holiday, a family of five including a new baby that seemed to watch everything and everyone. A woman tried slipping me her number, but I brushed it off politely, and by six o’clock I felt as if I’d done a week’s work in a day. It had felt like that the day before, and the day before that too, a never ending sense of being fucking shattered.
It wasn’t being there that had exhausted me, it was the sense that this week a dam had broken, and the water had only just stopped cascading through it.
My phone had been quiet. No messages of Ash or anyone from Colm’s empire. There had been a half-understandable text from my mother, but that needed more investigation and I didn’t have the energy right now.
“You alright, boss?” Cara, the assistant bar manager who had somehow found her way to us, asked. “You look like you could do with a holiday.”
“Probably true.” I sat down at the bar with a pint of water and watched as she mixed a cocktail, a Long Island Iced Tea for a woman who’d been sat there for most of the afternoon, writing what looked like a book. “Not sure where you go on holiday though when you live in a place like this.”
“Somewhere different. Somewhere that’ll change your life.” She garnished it with a slice of lemon and left it on the side for the waiter to take it out. “Maybe you’ll meet someone there who’ll change your life too.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
Cara grinned. “I physically fell over Emma. She’d fallen off her bike in Madrid. I wasn’t looking where I was going and tripped over her. I don’t know who was more cross.” She laughed, which she often did when she talked about her girlfriend.
“So how did you end up here?”
“The artists’ community. It seemed like it was calling us – something to do with Es Vedra, or that’s what Emma reckons. I’ve no idea how long we’ll be here for – until it’s time to leave, I guess.”
I got off the barstool. “Thanks for that.”
“I have no idea what I said for you to thank me, but you’re welcome.” She grinned again, and started to mix something else. I didn’t know what – I was out of the door and in my car before she’d picked up the second bottle.
Safir looked the same every time I saw it, grand and solemn, as if it had seen every fucking thing the island had to throw at it, and it was still standing, which was all true. I pulled up outside and met one of the security guards who’d been at the compound with Jameson.
He stopped me when I got out of the car.
“Are you expected?”
“No, but I need to see Jameson.”
He looked at me with a combination of sympathy and suspicion before stepping away and calling through on his radio.
“Go through. But if you’re asked to leave, you leave.”
“Does Jameson know it’s me?”
He shook his head. “Livi said to let you through.”
I gave him a nod and took the walk down the wide path that cut through the lawn to the finca.
It was Jameson I saw when I went through the gate to the main pool. Her long legs were stretched out on a sun lounger, a book in her hands, and water on the table next to her.
My chest almost exploded when she turned round. She was beautiful to begin with, but now she seemed even more so, so much it hurt to look at her.
She sat up when she realised it was me, a startled look on her face and I took a step backwards.
“I’ll go if you want.”
She paused and I held my breath.
“No. Stay. We should probably talk. If you want.”
“I want.”
