The start of us.
“Because I have to make sure this backside can still fit in these jeans.” I tapped my ass with a gloved hand.
Eli bent down to my ear. “You could be three or four sizes bigger and it would still be the best bottom ever.”
The shiver that went up my spine had nothing to do with the cold gust of air that blew into the shop.
“She’ll have the strawberry and the apple. In fact, make it two apple.”
His hand landed on my back, a possessive touch and I leaned into it. “I’m hoping the other pie’s for you?”
“Definitely. I need to re-coop some of those calories.”
His hand pressed a little firmer rather than slipping away, the touch incredibly purposeful. No empty gesture lay behind it.
“Why aren’t you in the hot tub with the others?”
“Because you were here.”
“Oh.” I took the bag of cakes and Eli handed over a note, waving to keep the change. “How’s your sister?”
We left the shop and went outside into the bitter air. The temperature had dropped further as the day had gone on, now a couple of degrees below freezing. It was nothing like the New York winters I’d gotten used to when I lived over there, but for England, this was cold.
“Not good. She’s been admitted. That’s why I got here last night instead of today, because I don’t really need to be there now she’s being looked after properly.”
“How long will she be in hospital for?”
“Until she’s stable. They need to look at what meds work and put her in therapy. She won’t be left on her own as she’s a risk to herself at the moment.”
His voice was tired and I felt horrendous for once again making a situation about me. I knew Izzy was struggling, had been for some time, but she’d been resistant to anyone helping her. Eli had all of that going on and work.
“I’m sorry. I did want to be there for you…” We sat down on a bench near the village green, one with a plaque, dedicated to Eileen and Tommy Cheetham. It gave the dates of their wedding and the dates of their deaths; within a few weeks of each other.
He put his arm around my shoulders. “I know you did. But she was worse if anyone other than me or Dad were there. She really wasn’t keen on other women being there – even our other sisters.”
“I wonder why.”
“Hopefully they’ll help her find out.” He hugged me closer. “I’m sorry I’ve not been around much these last few months. I don’t want to blame work and family shit, but I lost track of us.”
I leaned against him, trying to stop the tears that had too easily filled in my eyes from falling. “I thought we were growing apart.”
I felt a kiss press against the side of my head.
“I’ve missed you. I don’t want to grow apart, Ava.”
I curled closer into him, not feeling the cold. “I thought you were fed up of me.”
“I hated not seeing you as often. You were busy with work and we were constantly missing each other. Let’s not let it happen again.” He paused and took a hard breath. “Unless you want it to. I don’t know, you might want something different than me.”
His words were stilted, as if he didn’t want to say them but felt he had too. They were the feather touch that broke the dam that held back my tears.
“Ava.” He said my name and pulled me in closer. “If you’re not happy you need to tell me. Talk. If… if you want to take a break or call it a day then, I understand. But I don’t want that and I’m rambling.”
“I don’t want to take a break or have any time apart.” I managed to look up at him.
He was pained, his forehead furrowed. I saw sadness in his eyes, those dark eyes that I’d fallen in love with when I’d been determined not to.
“Do you want to split up? I don’t feel I make you happy but…”
