It was clear today. The sea stretched out between the island and the mainland. It looked calm, the blue a fine sheet that seemed to dance, but it concealed depths that could be deadly.
“I get why you’re here.”
It was the first time she’d said something that would encourage me to stay.
“To be able to paint somewhere like this and have this life. I envy you.”
I stiffened. Stuffed my hands in my pockets. Looked out to sea and tried to hate what I saw.
“Gabe, stop it.”
My sister, the fucking mind reader.
“I’m not going there with telling you that it wasn’t your fault because been there, done it, wore the T-shirt so much it’s being used as a duster. I understand why here is a good place to be, and so would Ryan.”
For the first time I chose not to argue with her. “I know. He’d have moved here when he was sixty though and his dick had fallen off from all the diseases.” It had been a standing joke that he slept with too many women to not deserve a nasty bout of clap or something. Not that he ever had an STD to my knowledge, and, according to him, it was always wrapped up.
“Maybe. But even if this wasn’t a place he wouldn’t have approved of, that doesn’t matter. You’ve got to start doing things for you. Like Anya. This is the longest I’ve ever known you be with the same woman exclusively.”
I looked at my sister and wondered how the hell she managed to remember all of this. Maybe I’d mentioned Anya more than I’d planned to.
“It isn’t serious. She’s only home for the holidays.”
“Home?”
She didn’t miss a beat.
“She spent most of her childhood here.”
“But she thinks of this as home?”
I nodded, looking for something to point out to distract her from asking any more questions. It was too quiet. Even the boys weren’t helping, having sat down on the grass with some toy that was keeping them both strangely focused.
“I saw her at the guesthouse. She’s very pretty.”
I smiled because I couldn’t not.
Since the day when her boat had capsized, we’d grown closer. I spent most nights with her, sometimes in a local bar or restaurant or on the beach, sometimes we’d go for a walk with my camera and take stupid photos and selfies. I knew that when September arrived I’d be alone again and I wasn’t trying to lie to myself that it wasn’t going to happen. Anya had another life to return to. I had to carry on with mine.
“She is. And smart.”
“Even though she’s going out with you?” Janie elbowed me.
I looked at the ground and grinned like an idiot. “But she’s going back to teach at her school in September.”
“And she might move back home. Especially with what happened.”
I shrugged. She’d talked about it recently, when we were in bed after she’d spent a good portion of the evening riding me like a horse at a fun fair. She wasn’t going to stay at her current school, which was what she’d planned, wanting a move into management. But she didn’t know where. I explained it to Janie who smiled and looked knowingly away from me, as if she had some crystal ball that she couldn’t use on herself.
“Let’s take the boys back to the guesthouse and you can introduce me properly.”
They were words she’d never said about any other woman I’d been with. Surprisingly, I wasn’t scared.
* * *
Anya wasoutside in the garden with Harry, who was playing a game of something that meant his aunt had to chase him. She was trying to look enthusiastic and I could see the teacher in her coming out as she spoke to him. I could also see that she was dying to sit down with her book and the glass of wine that was next to it.
“Gabe!” She paused and a small hand tugged her. “Look, Harry. Gabe’s here with his nephews. You might finally have someone to play with.” He hung behind her legs, suddenly shy.
