“For fuck’s sake, are you going to avoid me all morning?” she said, standing at the doorway to the bedroom.
“Is it that obvious?”
She entered and sat down on the bed. “I’m mad and I’m upset,” she said. “Because you didn’t trust me and I don’t understand why.”
“I didn’t want to tell anyone,” I said. “In fact, I didn’t really tell anyone. They worked it out.”
“Except me, because I’ve been paying too much attention to Owen and my own love life,” she said. “I feel shit because I’ve not noticed. This is the first time you’ve had a properly serious boyfriend…”
“That’s not what it is,” I interrupted.
She was silent, looking around the room. I’d put some of my pictures up on the walls and there was a pile of folded washing to go away. The bed was still unmade, both pillows indented with where we’d slept.
“Are you using him?” she said quietly. “Is he just somewhere to stay while you sort out your projects?”
I put my hairdryer down and headed over to the bed. “Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re living here with him and yet you’re telling me it’s not serious.” She was expressionless. “And I like Eli a lot. He’s a good friend as well as a colleague and I don’t want to see him hurt.”
“I’m not using him. I like him a lot too. A hell of a lot.”
She nodded. “Good. So what’s with the smoke and mirrors? He’s hardly something to be ashamed of, and neither are you, most of the time.”
I put my hands over my face and groaned loudly. “It was a one night stand at Jackson’s wedding,” I said. “He rescued me from Bradley whatever he’s called and we ended up in my bed and then a week later did the same.”
“So it was a series of one night stands?”
“That weren’t meant to be anything else. But every time was better than the last and we clicked and had fun and well, we still do. But it’s not forever. We’re not in love like you and Owen are and I don’t want everyone to think that.”
There was quiet in the room again as Payton thought. If it had been Claire, the air would’ve been filled with noise by now as she gave me her opinion and told me what to do and how to do it and what would happen if I did this, that and the other. Payton was different.
“We wouldn’t have jumped to those conclusions,” she said. “Eli’s just broken up with someone. Putting the two of you together wouldn’t have taken a genius, although I’m not sure what that says about me.”
“What do you mean?”
“That you and Eli are together a lot because of the firm and you’re both single and gorgeous. He needed to move on from Andrea and you were there. I’m not criticizing either of you. But I don’t get why you wouldn’t tell me,” she said. “I don’t care if you’re shagging each other senseless for a night, a week, a month or a fucking year, Aves. As long as you’re happy, and I’d quite like him to be too.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “When it was a one-night stand, there was no point in saying anything then and I never expected it to get much beyond that. And I thought you’d find it strange.”
“Why would it be strange?” she said, frowning. “I would put you both together and that’s saying something because you’re my best friend and my little sister so no one could ever be good enough, but Eli is a decent guy and gorgeous. He has half the girls in the office making eyes at him and shifting their tits when he comes in.”
I felt irrationally jealous. “Have you ever wanted to go there?”
Payton laughed. “No. Never. The chemistry has never been there and you know I only dated dicks until I met Owen.”
“What do I do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m living with a guy I don’t think I have a future with. What happens when I move out?”
Payton shrugged. “You both date other people and you have to deal with that. You can still be friends. And why don’t you have a future? Is he rubbish in bed or something?”
“If I tell you details of what he’s like in bed you’ll torture him with them when you’re working together.”
“Damn right,” she said. “Answer my question and I won’t be mad at you for not telling me.”
“Liar.”
